Letting Go of Stuff - Day by Day

Extra: Zen Question: Reverse Giving

Susan Vogt — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 11:00:20 +0000

As I focus on giving my extra stuff away, it seems like others keep giving to me. At first I felt frustrated, like the giving was going in the wrong direction. Then, I decided that receiving and being grateful was also a gift. In a sense, when I give, I am in control. It’s good to be on the other end occasionally and humbly accept the gifts of others.

At a recent conference someone just gave (not lent) me a red pen when I mentioned that I forgot to bring mine. Another person gave me her scarf when she noticed I was cold in an air-conditioned room – and insisted that I keep it. I had some extra time to read so I went to the Chaminade University library to check out a couple books. Since I wasn’t a student or local resident the head librarian said, “Hey, just put it on my card. I know you’re trustworthy.” I also needed a pleasant room for a post conference retreat I was responsible for. One local participant arranged for my group to use the President’s Lounge for a day – free. Another person saw me eyeing a couple books for a class that she teaches. I also teach a similar class on leadership. She said, “Just take them. I’ve got extras.” That’s 7 items that people gave me in one week. I’ll have to step up my giving.

Days 176-182: Can Returning Stuff Count?

Susan Vogt — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 11:00:24 +0000

Yes! Some times it takes more effort to return stuff to its rightful owner than to just give a bunch of stuff away. Returning several library books was easy because there’s a time limit and the library is on my way to many places. Returning the car seat we had borrowed for our homeless family’s child was easy because it was from our next store neighbor. It was more difficult, however, to get a pillow and sheets back to an out of town guest who had stayed with us. Then there were a pair a reading glasses and water bottle that we don’t know who they belong to. We’ve put out several e-mails and still can’t find the owners. There are also the 20 plastic table cloths that I carefully wipe clean and save from year to year so our dance community doesn’t have to buy new ones each New Years Eve. This has the added advantage of making me feel quite virtuously green. Returning them to use every year can be a hassle, but I think reusing stuff should definitely count as would any recycling effort.

Extra: What About Trinkets

Susan Vogt — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:00:04 +0000

Speaking of souvenirs, I recently returned from a conference with a number of international participants. It never ceases to amaze me how generous other people are – especially people from other countries. In addition to sharing their talents of singing, dancing, and laughter, the Koreans and Hawaiians showered us with little gifts. Of course there is the Hawaiian custom of honoring visitors with a lei and Jim and I each received a beautiful hand made yarn lei that will last more than a day. The Koreans also gave us fans, decorative candles, key chains, and beautiful bookmarks and little purses. I really do need to learn from their generosity.
There is a problem, however. As gracious as these gifts are, I can’t use them all. I think I’ve found a solution. I’ve put many of these colorful gifts into a basket and when visitors come to our home – especially young children – I invite them to choose something from the basket. It’s a way of passing on the gift and culture of other generous people.

Days 169-175: Souvenirs

Susan Vogt — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:00:32 +0000

Giving away trinkets is one thing, but what about when trinkets are mementos of a foreign trip and you’ll probably never go to that country again? That is the question I asked myself when I stared at these Pepsi bottles. About 20 years ago our family was part of a month long family exchange program in the Soviet Union. We thought it was cool to bring home Pepsi bottles written with the Cyrillic alphabet. I saved two but what do I do with them now? They’re not quite display items, yet I don’t want to drink them. (I’m not sure of the shelf life of pop in bottles.) Hmmm. I wonder if it would be worth money on E-Bay? Whoops, that wouldn’t be giving it away. Now that I have a photo of it maybe that’ll do. Since I’m on the souvenir theme, this week I’m also clearing out some other minor souvenirs from Russia, Korea, Japan, and Africa.

Extra: How To Count?

Susan Vogt — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:00:28 +0000

Should I count by one’s or seven’s. Technically I’ve only committed to giving one thing away a day, but sometimes things come in groups and it just doesn’t seem honest to count lettuce by the leaf or to count each zucchini for a day. Since last Sunday I chose 7 of our son’s sweaters to give away when he was also ready to let go of other winter garb, I’m making up for it by including some additional jerseys, shirts, socks, and pajamas that he said, “What the heck!” when asked about them too. There are at least 7 more items here.

Days 162-168: #3 Child’s Sweaters

Susan Vogt — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:00:55 +0000

Although #3 child balked at me giving away anything in his trunk of childhood mementos, he was surprisingly cooperative about letting me give away a number of his sweaters stored at our house. It could be that these were mostly clothes I had bought him, or which had been handed down to him, that he wasn’t all that keen on anyway. Or maybe it’s just that the temperature has been hovering between 90-95 degrees and it’s hard to think about needing sweaters. (I guess if he had really loved them, he would have taken them with him to his apartment.) Anyway, this week I easily collected over 7 sweaters to give away.

Extra: Speaking of Letters

Susan Vogt — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 11:00:44 +0000

As a writer, I spend most of the day, most days, at my computer. Over the years, several of the more common letters have rubbed off (like the E, R, and T). I only realized this when other people tried to use my computer and weren’t sure where these letters were. I started to feel like Vanna White with hidden letters and was tempted to say, “Would you like to buy a vowel?” I guess technically I didn’t give the letters away, but indeed I no longer had them except in the muscle memory of my fingers. I know that in the scope of societal needs this is a frivolous post but sometimes we just have to let go and laugh at ourselves.

Speaking of letters, though, I am aware of the power of the handwritten word. A friend of mine has cancer, does not do e-mail, and wearies of talking on the phone about her illness. Another friend suggested a snail mail letter. What a concept! It takes a little longer and costs 44 cents – at least this year – but sometimes letters are important.

Days 155-161: Where did the C’s go?

Susan Vogt — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 11:00:43 +0000

I’ve been avoiding books till I summon up the courage to make some hard decisions. The Encyclopedia Britannica set was an exception. Not only was it published in 1961 but it was missing the “C” volume – probably used as a booster seat years ago. Who uses hard copies of encyclopedia anymore? I called the library for advice – one of the excellent free services of our society. They of course could not use such a dinosaur but they suggested that I donate it to their Friends of the Library sale. No, most bibliophiles would not buy an old encyclopedia either, BUT, they said that some realtors buy such books to use as display pieces in condos or model homes. Some developing countries may be able to use the books also, but shipping them would be expensive. I was happy to have a better use for these volumes than recycled paper.

Extra: Losing Stuff (luggage, sleep…)

Susan Vogt — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:00:59 +0000

Airlines have lost enough of my luggage over the years that I’ve learned to pack with just a carry-on and a large purse. (Although I’ve always eventually gotten my stuff back, I once went almost two weeks without my suitcase in a 3^rd world country.) Last week Jim and I were returning from a working vacation in Hawaii. Of course Hawaii is known for being relaxed and leisurely and so was the local airline we took between islands. Generally this is a welcome change of pace, but I started to wonder when the ticket taker at the gate didn’t seem concerned that my carry-on for the small plane might not fit in the overhead. Normally they tag it at the gate and I leave it at the end of the sky bridge. Well, no tag and no directions. Jim calmly left his carry-on at the usual place and so did I – but not so calmly. I started worrying about whether anyone would actually put it on the plane without a bright tag. While in flight my worry barometer started escalating and I began taking stock of the things in my suitcase that I would miss if the luggage was lost – permanently.

First, you have to know that I take great pride in my ability to pack small. It’s taken me years to perfect this talent as I’ve accumulated many miniature travel items and trimmed my trip necessities to the bare minimum. Normally I can go anywhere in the world for one week or several months without checking luggage – as long as it’s not cold weather. Yes, I admit, it’s become a compulsion.

So, when I calculated what I’d miss if (when) my luggage was lost on this trip, clothes were the least of my worries. My miniature containers, comfortable but non-bulky shoes, and special light and thin travel wardrobe would take years to find equivalent replacements. I decided that giving things away is much easier than losing things. I choose what I give away, but have no control over things I lose and may never find again. Miraculously, my luggage was at my destination; thank God and prayer.

PS: While I’m on the topic of losing, I noticed that only losing things that are not easily replaceable bother me. I can lose my glasses or lose at cards without losing sleep (and even losing sleep through time changes doesn’t bother me much). Now, losing time – that’s another matter. What bothers you?

Days 148-154: Miscellaneous Stuff

Susan Vogt — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 11:00:13 +0000

As I said in my “Extra blog” a couple days ago, it’s often more challenging to let go of compulsions than to let go of stuff. Just to keep me honest, however, I also gave away some stuff: a 1993 LSAT prep guide (Nobody looks like they’re going to law school soon.), 2 suit cases, an animal skin rug that’s shedding, a Creepy Crawler Kit, a sketch pad, plus 3 more pretty, but useless, rocks found while hiking probably 20 years ago.