{"id":3740,"date":"2014-10-16T13:38:23","date_gmt":"2014-10-16T17:38:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/?p=3740"},"modified":"2014-12-06T14:22:33","modified_gmt":"2014-12-06T19:22:33","slug":"36580-letting-go-of-worries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/36580-letting-go-of-worries\/","title":{"rendered":"365+#80: Letting Go of Worries"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Days<\/a>A few days ago our daughter emailed us saying that she was in Liberia. With the Ebola crisis emanating from that region of Africa, our parental worry antenna shot up. She assured us that she was being extremely careful and was super sanitized but Ebola stories have been\u00a0endemic on the news. Of course that\u2019s why she was there \u2013 to report on Ebola \u00a0for the Wall Street Journal. We are proud of her but also worried for her.<\/p>\n

This got me thinking about being a parent. No matter what the age of our children, I vacillate between pride and worry. Are they doing well enough in school? How is their health? Will they make good friends and find loving relationships? Will they make good decisions about life and morality? Will they be safe? Will they be able to support themselves financially? Will they keep faith?<\/p>\n

While my children lived at home, my job was to lay the foundation \u2013 to teach them the basics and try to provide a safe, nutritional, educational, moral environment. Now that they are grown, I can only continue to love them and trust that that foundation will carry them through the tough times.<\/p>\n

No one escapes childhood without some hurts, be they physical falls or emotional heartbreaks. Still, as a parent, it\u2019s hard not to worry. No matter how old one\u2019s child is we can\u2019t guarantee his or her\u00a0well-being. So how can a caring parent stay sane?<\/p>\n

WORRY-LESS PARENTING:
\n1. Lay a Foundation, But Let Go of the Outcome.<\/strong>
\nDo the best you\u00a0can during the active parenting years and then repeat this mantra: “I\u00a0are responsible for the process I\u00a0use in raising my\u00a0children \u2013 not the outcome.”
\n2. Let Go of Guilt and Start.<\/strong>
\nIn hindsight, parents sometimes feel guilty that their \u201cbest\u201d was flawed. Maybe from lack of money, time, or knowing healthy parenting practices, you\u00a0made mistakes or did things you\u00a0regret. Learn from the past but let go of the guilt. You\u00a0can\u2019t change history. Start now to be the best parent you can.
\n3. Let Go of Pride.<\/strong>
\nWe put so much energy into our children it\u2019s tempting to see their successes as our successes. Of course the corollary is to feel that our child\u2019s failure is our failure.<\/p>\n

BEYOND PARENTING WORRIES:
\nWorrying is not restricted to parents. I\u00a0can worry about money, my\u00a0job (or lack thereof), health, politics, the environment, human relationships gone awry, or my hair. I have found the following principles help\u00a0keep me balanced:
\n1. Take Action.<\/strong>
\nOne of the best remedies for worry is to do something proactive. I can\u2019t single handedly stop climate change, but I can reduce how much energy I use and recycle more.
\n2. Think Beyond Myself.<\/strong>
\nIncreasing my love for others and decreasing my judgment of those I disagree with can lift my spirit beyond \u201cwoe is me.\u201d Being in community with others can multiply positive actions and bring support in times of discouragement.
\n3. Turn it over.<\/strong>
\nFor people of faith this typically means prayer or meditation. Even if one has no specific religious belief, the attitude of letting go can put problems in perspective and bring some peace.<\/p>\n

Bonus: Laugh More<\/strong> \u2013 at ones foibles, the temporariness of this life, myself. Sometimes I just have to laugh at my uncontrollable hair.<\/p>\n

So, wise readers\u00a0– What has helped you deal with the inevitable worries of life?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few days ago our daughter emailed us saying that she was in Liberia. With the Ebola crisis emanating from that region of Africa, our parental worry antenna shot up. She assured us that she was being extremely careful and was super sanitized but Ebola stories have been\u00a0endemic on the news. Of course that\u2019s why […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[29,17],"class_list":["post-3740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beyond-stuff","tag-intangibles","tag-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3740","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3740"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3740\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3749,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3740\/revisions\/3749"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.susanvogt.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}