Living Lightly

Susan Vogt on living more simply but abundantly

Browsing Posts published by Susan Vogt

It has been 10 years since I started my Living Lightly blog (Feb. 2010) and I’ve given you all a lot of words. In the spirit of decade reviews, I’m offering you a summary of highlights for those who might feel overwhelmed by looking at even my curated list of posts in the right column. Here are my top 10 topics of the decade with some literary license for years which point you to multiple posts. The order is roughly chronological rather than priority.

  1. Lent: 2010 Clothes – Although I scoured the whole house in 2010, I chose to focus on clothes since that is the most personal area and one that most people start with. For an overview, click here. For specifics see:
    Shoes: 1, 2 
    Tops: (blouses, sweaters) 1, 2, 3, 4
    : 1, 2
    Bedroom & Misc. Clothes*
    : 1, 2 
  2. 2011+ Other people’s stuff + 1, 2, 3, 4 Once having pruned stuff that belonged to me, I realized that we were storing a lot of stuff for other people (especially our grown kids).
  3. Lent: 2012 Eating Lightly (Food Stamp Challenge)
  4. Lent: 2013 Waste Less + misc. recycling posts
  5. Lent: 2014 A Drawer a Day This was my systematic but time efficient way to “conquer” hidden stuff.
  6. Lent: 2015 Buy Nothing Of course it’s impossible to spend NO money, but check my criteria for what I allowed and what I tried to forego.
  7. 2016-17 Paper Clutter, (Memorabilia, books,,,) Although dealing with paper (and now digital information) is a lifelong task, the key question is: What’s important to save, What’s not? Here’s a start.
  8. Lent: 2018 Kindness – 7 things I learned
  9. Humorous Foibles During Lent 2019 I revisited my Room by Room process of 2010, but in hindsight this can get boring. As a break, here’s a taste of some mistakes.
  10. 2010-2019 Musings As I diligently tried to live more lightly on planet earth, I inevitably learned a lot about myself, what is important and what is not. Pick your favorite and let me know.

* I found that words for under garments apparently trigger spammers and those looking for stuff that is very different from this blog. Most seem to come from remote countries. I imagine that they are disappointed when they learn the purpose of this blog 🙂 .

The joy of Christmas is too often accompanied by over-consumption of presents and plastics. Neither is good for the soul. Over the years I’ve written a number of blogs on simplifying Christmas. Click here to review some of them. This year I offer you Joshua Becker’s list of How to Restore Gift Giving Sanity.
BUT, with Christmas also comes good food, often wrapped in plastic packaging and it’s starting to pollute my Christmas spirit. Here’s my story.

It all started a couple months ago when I learned that Whole Foods would no longer accept #1-7 plastics for recycling. That’s a bummer. Our local curb side recycling accepts plastic bottles and jugs, but what about all those other plastics like the clamshells that berries and cherry tomatoes come in? What about the #5’s that yogurt comes in.

I diligently started searching for alternative places to recycle these plastics and found several. (For N. KY options click here, then scroll to bottom of PACA newsletter.) However, the more I researched I realized that the reason many recyclers were no longer accepting plastics was because their previous markets (primarily China) were no longer accepting our plastic. I also learned some disturbing news about the growing recycling related pollution problems in Indonesia which continues to import our plastics for “recycling.”

Finding alternate plastic recycling sources is only a temporary solution. I was going to have to go hard core – back to the basic recycling mantra REDUCE, reuse, recycle. But what about my beloved yogurt? I took a deep breath and decided to dig out my old yogurt maker from decades ago. Last week I made yogurt. Yea!

With yogurt conquered, I turned my attention to the plastic “clamshell” containers that berries and cherry tomatoes come in. In the summer I grow berries but don’t get many. I’m willing to default to raisins on my cereal for the rest of the year…but my husband isn’t. The jury is still out on how we will resolve this marital recycling difference. (After all he does compassionately release indoor insects to their outside homes; I just squash them.) I’m not aiming for 100% purity, but I can at least REDUCE how many clamshells come into our home. Have you found ways to reduce the use of single use plastics? Please share.

Bottom line:
RECYCLING – Good (Level 1)
REDUCE – Better  Don’t buy as many products packaged in plastic. (Level 1)
MULTIPLY SOLUTIONS – Best  Go beyond individual lifestyle changes by impacting societal change.
Level 2 – Talk with friends about your lifestyle improvements.
Level 3 – Institutional change. Contact local governments, schools, churches, etc.
Level 4 – Go Big – Become involved in national political change.
Click here to watch Will Grant’s 3 minute video describing Levels 2, 3, and 4 from the Drawdown workshops I facilitate. (If you’re ready to get into serious action to reverse global warming, contact me and I’ll put you in touch with a local group.)
Signs of progress: Click here to read or listen to NPR’s 3 minute recent feature on the evolving natural substitutes for plastics.

As we approach the “giving” aka “buying” season of December, my mind turns to a pet peeve – excessive and deceptive Advertising.  For example:

  • Specialized dog biscuits geared to cure your dog of halitosis. Really? I love dogs but this seems over the top.
  • Toothpaste boxes that show a huge swirl of toothpaste overflowing the brush. Since I use an electric toothbrush with a tiny head, only a dab will do it. I presume it’s meant as a subliminal message to kids to put a big hunk of toothpaste on their brush so the parent has to buy toothpaste more often.
  • Fake news political ads. “Fake news” is in the eye of the beholder, but with each campaign season I see ads that portray a candidate or cause with misleading innuendos.
  • How does one know which news source to trust?

As I reflected on these examples, I realized that I had slipped into judgmentalism based on my own biases. So I tried arguing the other side:

  • Dog treats – Hey, it’s just a treat. Don’t I treat myself with ice-cream, candy bars, etc. Just be mindful that it’s a choice. Buying stuff won’t bring lasting happiness, love, and satisfaction. Those are inside jobs.
  • Toothpaste – Should I fault companies for trying to sell more of their product? After all, I have free will and don’t have to use that much.
  • Fake news – I can educate myself about news sources. I don’t have to be a blind consumer. Even if I like my news source I should be aware of how it leans so I’m not gullible to propaganda.  See Strategy #2 below for resources.

1. Take all hype with a grain of salt.
Train yourself to be Ad-Resistant. Question all ads.
2. Check it out with a reliable, neutral source.
See All Sides for a chart of how various news sources lean. For youth, visit Democracy and Me for good basic civics lessons
3. Time is usually your friend. Wait to see if the urge passes.
4. Assess purchases against the Need/Want principle. Treats are OK in moderation
5. Fast from one form of media ads for a week (TV, radio, FB, Instagram, magazines…)
6. OR for the hard core Ad Averse, consider big questions like –

• How would a homeless person view this purchase?
• Would I still buy this if I knew I was going to die tomorrow or next month?
• Can I use the money for something better or donate it to person in need?

My life has been busy lately. My guess is so has yours. Presumably we are both busy about important meaningful responsibilities. That makes searching for convenient, quicker ways to do things attractive. I get that and I’m a consumer of convenience – to a point.

But then there is the dilemma that conscientious consumers face when trying to also live lightly:
• When do I pay more for convenience?
• What is the ecological cost of convenience food, transportation, and outsourcing tasks such as cleaning and repairs?
It all comes down to yogurt and diapers. Well, not really, but consider these two examples:

Yogurt: Yogurt (and like products) usually come in #5 containers. Our curbside recycling does not accept #5s, BUT Whole Foods does – or at least it did until I saw an email saying that they were cutting back on accepting recyclables. What to do? Should I stop buying yogurt? I decided I didn’t need the yogurt with fruit in it. That reduces some. We used to make our own yogurt at home and still have the yogurt maker, but that takes time and is inconvenient. Should I choose convenience or make my own. Solution: Disaster averted. I called Whole Foods and found that they are eliminating accepting all recyclables except #5s.

Disposable Diapers: While this example will not apply to those beyond the early parenting years, the principle applies to everyone. Hold on. Back in ancient history, when disposable diapers were just invented, we used the standard cloth diapers for our 4 children. At home it wasn’t a big deal since it was only one extra load of wash a week. We defaulted to disposable diapers for the diaper bag and especially when traveling or camping. Eventually, we realized that it really was no extra trouble to keep a plastic bag in the diaper bag for day trips. We still made exceptions for longer or camping trips. Not only are they reusable and lasted for several children, when timeworn they make great rags for cleaning instead of paper towels. Since disposable diapers are now the default diaper, however, modern parents do not usually consider this alternative.
Principle: What convenience food, service, or travel do you automatically consume? Think:
• Eating less meat or meals out,
• Turning the thermostat up or down rather than putting on or taking off a sweater,
• Bringing a cloth bag to a store barely takes any more time than accepting a plastic one.
• Walking or biking to do close errands. (Count it as exercise and save a trip to the gym.)
Most of these actions are simply a matter of creating a new habit.

How have you reconciled expense or time vs convenience? What has worked? What has flopped? Curious minds want to know.

What is kenosis and what does it have to do with living lightly? Theologically speaking kenosis is the act of self-emptying in order to become entirely receptive to God’s divine will.

So, what’s this got to do with Living Lightly? I started down this path because my To Do list was getting too long and I was feeling burdened by the current political and ecclesial scandals swirling around me. I wanted to fix things. I have chosen two major areas on which to focus my energy –
• Environmental sustainability
• Responding to the clerical sexual abuse/cover-up crisis in the Catholic Church.
This is heavy stuff and as much as I get satisfaction from decluttering a drawer, pruning my clothes, and simplifying my lifestyle in general, still my mind and my being were whirring with deadlines, commitments, and important things to do to make a positive difference in our complicated world. Sometimes it can feel like just too much.

That’s where kenosis comes in. Currently my goal is not so much a cleaner material space but to empty myself of distracting worries and anger at corrupt systems so I can figure out “What is mine to do?” Of all the good and laudable causes that I care about I cannot do everything. I must say NO to somethings so that my energy can be put to where my interests and talents best position me to make a difference. This takes prioritizing, letting go of thinking it’s all about me, i.e., self emptying. It also takes working in community with others.
I can’t do it all.

I shouldn’t do it all. Only when we humans join our hands, minds, and energy together and try to be receptive to the common good, aka God’s divine will, can we be instruments of healing for our planet and each other. We need to seek the sacred inherent in all life and creation. To do this I sense that we need time, quiet, and self-emptying. I’ve been trying to do these things for quite awhile, but now I need reinforcement.

  1. Daily silent time to listen to nature and to the Spirit within me.
  2. Let go of my desire to impress others by my accomplishments.
  3. #2 does not mean I don’t act, but I must carefully discern (perhaps with the counsel of others) What is mine to do?

What helps you to empty yourself of busyness and self-importance so as to be receptive to the sacred?

Is it better to save time or to save money? I notice that I value both time and money but sometimes that complicates my life because one comes at the cost of the other. For example:

Eating Out vs. Eating at Home: Eating out saves preparation time (if you don’t count travel time). Still, it can be a welcome respite from the chore of fixing dinner, it can be a time to reconnect with friends, and sometimes it’s necessary because of travel. I notice that now that our kids are grown we eat out a bit more than we did when they were all home. This mostly was because of cost since it coincided with our lower family income. In order for eating out not to become a function of creature comfort creep, I try to think of it as a treat. A “treat” loses its power if it is done too often. Yes, we eat out, but try not to make it the go to frequent option.

Exercise – Gym vs Homemade: Exercise is good for you. Paying for a gym membership can be a motivator, especially if you have a regular daily or weekly routine. I know people who find that having a place to go and special equipment, and maybe even a trainer keeps them committed to exercise. My frugal self says, “Hey I can do sit-ups and planks at home and take a walk or a bike ride. It’s free. It saves travel time. What a deal.” I like this approach but who am I to judge. Besides bikes cost money plus we recently bought a bike rack (so we could drive to level bike paths 😕). Similarly, one of my husband’s favorite sports is golf. It takes both a fair amount of time and money.

Hiring a Cleaning Person vs Cleaning Your Own Home: This has been a bone of contention between my husband and me. We also have different standards of what constitutes clean enough. One side says, “Why should we pay someone to do something that we’re perfectly capable of doing ourselves. It feels too elite.” The other side says, “But it would free some of our time to do other worthy work and/or volunteer our time. Besides it provides income for someone who needs the money.” Guess which side I’m on.

The point to these examples is not that one is right and the other wrong. None are necessarily immoral, but it is these competing values that make living lightly complicated. Some things to consider are:

  • All things in moderation.
  • Make your own best choice and don’t judge others.
  • What would Jesus do?
  • Be mindful and generous – with yourself and others.
  • Or, as one of our sons is fond of saying, “Time IS Money.”
  • ________ What’s your criteria? What would you add to this list?

When have you tried to decide between something that saved time vs saved money? How did you decide?

Last week I had two experiences of being forced to wait with strangers. My first reaction was annoyance at being delayed. But upon reflection, I realized that these were opportunities to let go of my compulsion to not waste time. I like to be on time and to make the most of my time. In fact, I came to realize that sometimes letting go of my deadlines, my time, and instead being mindful of others in my presence might be called a “Holy Waiting.”

Example #1 – Airport Delay: I was already at the airport when the announcement came that my flight would be delayed 2 ½ hours. It was inconvenient but not a deal breaker since I was returning home with no immediate commitments. Of course 80+ other passengers were also faced with the same delay. After a little grumbling most people settled into tolerating the inevitable. One extroverted passenger sat down next to me and struck up a conversation that lasted for most of the time. We talked about trivial things and important things like life decisions we had made and how travel had broadened our lives. Other passengers contributed to the conversation as they felt inclined. We became a loose community of folks facing the same adversity. I thought about how my morning prayer always ends with something to the effect of “God, help me to be present to the people who cross my path today.”

Example #2 – Bridge Closing: The next day, President Trump was to hold a rally in Cincinnati. Jim & I planned to ride our bikes to a protest demonstration near the site since parking was bound to be a challenge. BUT, when we got to the bridge to ride across the river to Cincinnati, we found that for security the police had closed the bridge including foot and bike crossings. This meant that there were about 50 people – both Trump supporters and Trump protesters gathered at the bridge…waiting. We didn’t know how long. I wondered what to do. We had a common obstacle but very different political views. I toyed with the idea of proposing a respectful dialogue, but the setting didn’t feel right. Eventually, I engaged a couple strangers in conversation about how long we might have to wait. They asked me what my t-shirt referred to. I explained that Nuns on the Bus was about a Catholic social justice movement. One man said to me, “Oh, I think we’re probably on different sides of this issue. I’m looking forward to seeing my president.” I asked him to tell me about what he valued in life and how that motivated him to support Trump. We had a cordial conversation. I noted that I really agreed with all of the values he held but came to a different conclusion about who to vote for. Eventually, the bridge reopened and we both proceeded to our separate destinations.

1. Sometimes a common obstacle can unite people around a common cause.
2. Sometimes it’s easier to talk with strangers about sensitive matters than folks we know well.
3. Sometimes I have to not only let go of my possessions but also my time.
4. Wasting time together need not be wasted time. Sometimes it is holy time.

How does one count the value of things we give away? (click to enlarge)
Originally I had divided this blog into 2 categories:

    This included a silver/gold chalice, a framed piece of art from France, a fancy metal lighter from Paris, a heavy metal flask with leather carrying case, a large unused candle encased in glass.
    This included 6 water bottles and a blood pressure cuff. A local Respite Center had put a notice in our parish bulletin that with the hot summer days, they were in dire need of water bottles for their residents and guests. I also got an email from an old friend who started a non-profit in Kenya and he was collecting medical supplies for the Kakuma Mission Hospital. One thing he especially requested was rechargeable blood pressure cuffs. Well, I had several old water bottles from camping plus a few extra modern ones. I also had a 10 year old blood pressure cuff that I seldom used.

So, good. I figured I had an easy July blog post. BUT, Jim and I just got back from a 2 week visit with the indigenous people of the Ecuador rainforest. It was a journey sponsored by The Pachamama Alliance (click for short video) in which we visited the Achuar and Sapara tribes. We learned their ways and their commitment to protect the rainforest from the encroachment of oil and mining companies. Of course this was a meaningful but challenging experience as we trudged through muddy terrain, lived without electricity (much less internet connection), revived our camping skills, but spent time with joy filled people throughout it all.

So what’s this got to do with my 2 major give-away categories? I decided to reverse the usual value assigned to “expensive” goods as opposed to “cheap” goods. Water bottles are cheap. BUT, in the rainforest, water is life. Yes, they have plenty of water because the rainforest earns its name honestly. But WE, first world visitors, could not safely drink the local water. We always had to carry purified water. We came to value water highly. THEN, when I returned home and went to drop off our extra water bottles to a local shelter, I got the address wrong and went to the wrong center. As I was about to walk the block to the correct agency, several local people standing nearby heard me say that I was looking for the place to donate my water bottles and they said, “Hey, can I have one of them?” Then another asked; then another. I never got to my intended destination. Indeed I realized that water – and the means to carry it – was an item of great value.
Likewise, I get my blood pressure checked every time I go to a physician or dentist. Plus, if I really need to I can get it checked free at the local supermarket. Yet, the Mission Hospital in Kakuma didn’t have enough. Its value immediately rose in my mind.

Decorative items and precious metals can be beautiful and good, but they are not life and death items. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded about the inherent value of things we take for granted. I donated the decorative items to Legacies, a local high-end consignment shop. Maybe I’ll get a small tax deduction for them. 🙂 

PRE-CYCLING: Before I address the topic of recycling, it’s worth starting at the beginning. Remember the classic “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” mantra of the early earth friendly movement. Too often we jump to the third “Recycle” option when the “Reduce” and “Reuse” steps would  reduce the overall need for recycling. Some call this Precycling. Evaluate a product before buying it to make sure it is environmentally sound thus reducing the need for recycling. Avoid products that use excess packaging. Let manufacturers know you care. Chide the wasteful ones. Praise the helpful ones. Go shopping with a reusable bag. If you forget, request a paper bag and later use it to line your trash can. Decline plastic bags. Reuse all bags. (Simple Living Works). See my Prevention post for updated 2021 ideas.
Example: We like fruit on our cereal. My husband and I have been debating whether to buy the fruit (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries) that come in plastic containers (“clam shells”) that are not accepted in our curbside recycling. I suggested we refrain from buying the fruit when it is not in season? We grow some berries in our yard and could buy more at local farmer’s markets. I said, “I’m fine with raisins the rest of the year.” Jim is not. Hmmm, still considering this.

REGULAR RECYCLING – Let’s define this as stuff that is trash but is recyclable and you don’t want the garbage truck to deposit it in a landfill. (For donating usable items see previous post, Donating Basics.)
City curbside programs are wonderful. Ours accepts cans, paper, and bottles made of plastic or glass.
Plastics that don’t qualify for curbside: In response to consumer advocates, conscientious companies are pursuing alternatives to single use plastics and packaging. Be part of the solution. (See blog post #202 for other ideas.)
• Plastic bags: Many supermarkets provide a large container for recycling plastic bags. WARNING: Do not put plastic bags in curbside recycling carts. Having toured our regional recycling center I saw how plastic bags had to be manually removed lest they gum up the machinery.
• Metal: Local scrap metal places take more serious metals if you have enough to make it worth your time.
Example: My husband’s home office gets pretty cold in the winter. No problem. We have 2 space heaters – one that works and one that doesn’t. We tried to fix the broken one so we could donate it to a shelter. Unfortunately, it was beyond repair. So, not an electrician but still a handyman, Jim, disassembled it to retain the metal parts. We use Can Dew or Cohen for recycling in the Cincinnati area.
Click here to see previous posts I’ve done on recycling.

CREATIVE RECYCLING – If you have time and creativity bottles, cans, etc. can be re-used for art or home projects.
Example: I found several ways to use an old slide carousel from Pinterest. However, I eventually just took it to St. Vincent de Paul. I’ll leave the creativity to someone else this time.

SERIOUS RECYCLINGBeyond 34 is a private-public partnership seeking to break through the national recycling barrier of 34%. It challenges people to move from personal recycling to make a bigger difference. It’s coming to Cincinnati..

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – Google “where to recycle…”: or use Earth 911’s search function.

PS: Some things are not worth recycling (like my holey T-shirts) Let it go or let it be a rag.


Before-click to enlarge

I spent the past 10 weeks going Room by Room to discern additional household items to give away. I then spent 2 more weeks researching where to take all this stuff. Some were easy but some took a lot of searching and time. Here is an outline of my methodology and resources so you don’t have to start from scratch.
Step 1: Gather all  items in one place.
Step 2. Separate into categories like: clothes, household, books, toys, health, entertainment.
Step 3: Decide how much time and effort you are willing to spend finding homes for your donations. Here are the options I considered from easiest to hardest.

1. HOME-FREE – As my collection of stuff grew I started inviting visitors to peruse my piles and take whatever they wanted. We have a lot of meetings at our home so lots of people come through. We also had some folks do cleaning and yard work so they got to pick too.
A variation on this is the national Next Door program in which you advertise items for neighbors who come by and pick it up. Freecycle is similar but I had less luck with that.

2. EASY/PEASY– Several charitable organizations have trucks which you can schedule to pick up your items. Although they will often take small loads, I think it is a better use of their time when you have furniture or many items. Examples are: AmVets, Lupus, St. Vincent de Paul Society, Salvation Army. and VietVets. Most groups ask you to put in your location and connect you with their local organization.

3. ONE STOP – Although it’s nice to have a truck stop at your home, I felt a more direct and trusted connection when I could take my donations directly to the charity’s store. The two biggest ones are:
St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Stores. I took the bulk of my stuff here because I had some local contacts and they confirmed that they take almost everything and nothing goes to a landfill. Click here for the national SVDP website.
Goodwill Thrift Stores. To also learn about Goodwill’s employment training programs for those will special needs Click here.

4. A GOOD FIT – It’s especially satisfying when you can give a donation to an individual or organization that you have a personal connection with. Donating through your house of worship, a charity you volunteer with, a local school, a municipal entity (like the library) etc. is ideal, but this takes more effort to find the right fit. I took toiletries, socks, etc. to a local homeless shelter and Respite Center I was involved with. A Cincinnati example of a creative local arts outlet is Scrap It Up Creative ReUse Center,

5. HARD TO FIND HOMES – Then there was the miscellaneous pile. 🙁  I did some research so you won’t have to. For example:
Medications: Most municipal police departments have “Take Back” programs. Also CVS pharmacies have drop boxes. Click here for other Take Back locations.
Disposable Razors: Good News Network recycles razors. Mailing cost me $3.74
CDs, DVDs, Cassette tapes, and jewel cases: Best Buy and Target take these for recycling. Click here for an overview, or click here for a directory. Cincinnati area folks can take vintage cassette tapes to RCK Pros. They helped me.
VHS tapes: After searching the internet, Earth 911, and calling 5 potential sites, the bottom line is that nobody within 20 miles of my home recycles VHS tapes. BUT…by chance when I was trying to call Salvation Army, I mistakenly got another small thrift shop called “Betty’s Treasures” and voila, the person who answered the phone said, “Sure, we take them. You’d be surprised how many people buy them.” So, recycling VHS tapes is pretty impossible but some people still like to watch them. Sometimes it’s just a matter of calling a few more numbers before you give up. Some of these tapes may eventually end up in a landfill, but I feel  vindicated to have at least a little success. Have any of you accidentally found a worthy recipient of what the rest of us call trash?
Old photos: Click here for an overview of why they’re difficult to recycle. Best solution is to digitally scan them. I decided to trash my stash of duplicate or lousy photos.
• Trophies: This is another difficult category. Scarce offers some ideas and resources but it often requires mailing the trophies in and you pay the shipping. A local school and St. Vincent de Paul took mine.
Mattresses: Mattresses are often not accepted at thrift stores or donation centers. Tips Bulletin, Earth 911, and The Mattress Nerd answer a lot of questions about if and how you can recycle a mattress.
• Hazardous Waste: What qualifies as hazardous waste? Most municipalities have hazardous waste drop off events once or twice a year. Call your city.

6. FURNITURE PICK UPS  – For a list of 8 Charities that will pick up your furniture donations for free, click here.

7. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – Google “where to recycle…”: or use Earth911’s search function.

More recycling tips in a future blog. What are your best tips?

Basements and Garages are natural storage places so this is the likely place to find a lot of things to give away. It’s also likely to take a lot of time to sort through stuff accumulated – possibly over decades if you haven’t moved recently.

There are 3 basic kinds of storage items:
1. Seasonal and Occasional: These are things that will be used in the near future: (supplies for household repair, laundry, pantry non-perishables, camping, gardening, visiting grandchildren, and sports equipment.
2. Obsolete, Unnecessary, or Duplicates (See the duplicate photos in the plastic bag.)
3. Memorabilia and Maybe?: These are items that have happy memories attached to them. Click to enlarge photo.

#1 was easy – Keep them.
#2 was easy – Give them away, recycle, or discard.
But, #3 took time because of the tapes and records.

VHS tapes: One might say that VHS tapes are obsolete, BUT, we still have a VHS player connected to our TV. After reviewing the titles of 90 tapes, I decided to keep 60 – many were home movies. Anyone know what to do with 29 semi-interesting tapes?

Vinyl Records: Vinyl records are also obsolete so I readily donated a hand-me down record console to a nearby used media store. This left me with a small phonograph which I thought worked but didn’t. The problem was that my deceased mother was a singer and had made a record. I wanted to save that priceless piece of history. I also had 33 long playing 33 1/3 albums from the 1960’s, 70’s, and 80’s. How many Simon & Garfunkel or Peter, Paul, and Mary records does one really need to keep? I decided to trade about half of them to the media store in exchange for fixing my broken phonograph.

Extra dishes: We were saving dishes from deceased parents because a few of them were heirloom china and others we hoped would help our children set up their own homes. I’m giving away a box of the ordinary glasses and bowls. (Our kids live far away or already have kitchen supplies.
Basketballs: Our kids played a lot of basketball in our driveway, but they no longer live here. I found 3 balls in the basement. One went to a teen who was helping us with yard work. I’ll save one.
Birdcage: We once had birds but that was decades ago. The bird cage goes.
Ice-cream maker: The ice-cream maker that someone gave us sounded like a nice family activity but we never got around to it. Maybe someone else will.
Greenhouse frame: I had dreams of getting a head start on my garden by planting seedlings out doors in this small greenhouse, but my vision was bigger than my time. I just passed on the frame to a neighbor through Next Door this morning. It freed up a lot of space in our garage.

There is plenty more in the basement to prune. It doesn’t all have to be done this round. What’s lingering, unused in your home?

Click to enlarge

Lent is over but my 2019 Room by Room pruning is not. I’m taking a breather to reflect on what I’ve learned over the past 6 weeks. The photo at right shows much of what I decided to give away but not all of it since some items have already been disbursed, recycled, or trashed. Following are 10 things I’ve learned along the way:

    • On a Human level it feels good to give extra things away and clear clutter. I can find things more easily, the house has a cleaner look, and I feel virtuous.
    • On a Family level I figure I’m saving our children the drudgery of sorting through closets, papers, and myriad miscellaneous stuff after our death. But wait…
    • On an Emotional level I came to realize that as time consuming as some of the sorting was, it was also therapeutic to ponder one’s life while still in it.
    • On a Social Justice level it seems only right to pass on things we no longer need.
    • On a Spiritual level I am sometimes haunted by the writing of St. Basil the Great: “The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat unused in your closet belongs to the one who needs it; the shoes rotting in your closet belong to the one who has no shoes; the money which you hoard up belongs to the poor.
Despite my well-crafted schedule I came to the end of Lent and still hadn’t gotten to the basement and garage. Sometimes life and people get in the way. I had to remind myself that people are more important than things and schedules. Lent is a helpful motivating concept but being fully present to those who cross my path is a higher value. This is a life long journey.
My plan to spend at least ½ hour a day made sense because it sounded doable, BUT, most pruning took longer. Once I was in the midst of a project it was hard to stop. Some days I skipped and some days I hunkered down for a couple hours.
As I moved from one room to the next, I started to reconsider past items I had decided to save. Originally, I was rather restrained about what to let go of. After all, I might want that dress, that costume, that dish some day. As I continued, I found myself challenging those decisions more vigorously. Sometimes I went back to “finished rooms” and felt ready to let go of more.
5. HOW MANY EXTRAS?     +     +     +     +     +     +     +     +     +     +     +     +
Being a cautious person by nature, a number of decisions came down to “Maybe I should keep this just in case.” I kept returning to St. Basil’s counsel which is sometimes translated as your extra coat is stolen from the poor. I have more than one coat but I’m not a thief. Still this thought helped me more freely cull my extras. (Read Peter Sawtell of Eco-Justice Ministries’ recent challenging article on How Much Is Enough?)
Since it’s often difficult to find a good balance between being prudent and being generous, I found these helpful:
  • The 20/20 Rule applies to just in case items. If it can be replaced in under 20 minutes and costs under $20, let it go.
  • The Half Goal: Sometimes I had multiple items like storage containers or catalogs. I wanted to keep some but didn’t need all of them. To help me decide, I pushed myself to let go of half.
  • 4/5 Year Sweep: I started this blog in 2010. Although I continue to give things away throughout each year, this is my 3rd full house sweep. I really don’t add many new items so I’m not quite sure how I still have plenty to give away. I think the lesson is that periodically it’s good to do a household review – just as it’s also good to periodically do a life review
  • Spouse or child: Of course I can’t force another to cooperate with giving stuff away or to live a simple lifestyle. I can invite, model, and make it appealing but family harmony is more important than a tidy house. This year my husband made it clear that his office was off limits and he had veto power over kitchen decisions since he does most of the cooking. I would have been more ruthless in the kitchen, but I honored his wishes.
  • Adult children: I decided that when they are all home next Christmas I will invite them to spend 1 common hour reviewing the boxes/trunks that each has stored here. I will be within earshot so we can reminisce, but their decisions will be final. It will be their Christmas gift to me. I don’t want anything else.
Probably the hardest decisions were memories and mementos The easiest were my trophies or my clothes because it was only my decision.
Letting go of physical stuff continues to remind me that the trappings, honors, signs of success are not what is most important. Being present to others by letting go of my self-importance is what’s important. This inner pruning is not finished but ongoing.
Looking for things to give away prompted cleaning, organizing, and finding lost items. This Lent I found our bagel slicer. I also found a beloved pendant when searching through too much jewelry. When looking for my husband’s lost biking glove, I found it and 2 more gloves.

  • Basement and Garage pruning
  • Where to take it all – Deciding where to take stuff will be at least as hard as deciding what to give away. I’m allowing myself 1 month.

The 6 weeks of Lent are over but I’m not done. Despite my carefully crafted schedule and efforts to catch up at the end – life interfered. Here’s the skinny on the:

Dining Room: We have a beautiful built in china cabinet which makes it easy to store misc. dining and decorative items. It also makes it too easy to collect misc. things like candles, wrapping paper, and mementos.
Give Aways: My biggest purges were 10 empty 3 ring binders and a 48 piece flatware set, (We already had 2 sets of inherited silverware that we haven’t had a party formal enough to use in a decade.) Add to this a few outdated books and mementos.
Discard: 34 of 68 catalogs some dating back to 1999. (I invoked my “discard half” rule. The reasons I kept any are too complex to go into now.)

Reorganize/Relocate – music for prayer services. (This was prompted by the disintegration of the expandable file I kept copies in. I found a new file folder but the process of sorting took 2 hours. I also relocated 4 wrapped candles to the emergency gift drawer.

Bathroom Closet: This was already pretty trim, but I did find some old hair dye and frosting supplies that I will never use again plus an unlabeled bottle that seemed to contain shampoo. Pitched all of these things.

Catch-all Closet: This closet contained some kid toys and garden supplies.
Useless: Hardened clay. It makes a pretty photo but the clay was hard as a rock.
Give Away: However, the molds that our kids used for the clay are still good. Now I have to find some good kids to bequeath the molds to.
Discard Safely: I was chastised to find too many insecticides that I haven’t used in years and that I now try to avoid using. Finding a place that takes hazardous household waste took most of my time. Most communities have a once or twice a year round up time for citizens to dispose of hazardous waste but that’s 7 months away. After much internet searching I found that Hamilton County (Cincinnati) takes hazardous waste once a week. Now I have to impose on a friend in Cincinnati to take these items for me.

Semi-Conclusion: So I have spent time reviewing what to keep and what to get rid of on the main floor and upstairs of our house. I humbly conclude that this work is by no means finished, but I’ve been learning a lot about my attitudes toward possessions  and letting go of stuff in the process. I still have the basement and garage to go and those are gigantic spaces with many decisions looming, but not for today.

I will write a separate post soon about the lessons I’ve learned from this Lenten project. Then I will continue into the underworld (our basement) and the outside world (our garage).

KITCHEN: I spent 5 days deciding what to keep, give away, or relocate from our kitchen, pantry, and nearby cubby holes. Some days I worked for 1 ½ hours since I had the time. Other days I did nothing because I had no discretionary time. Here are the results:
Cupboard clean-out: I took all the contents out (see right) then cleaned the cabinet, and decided what to keep. (see below)
What would you have kept or pitched?
Keep: plates, bowls, and a generous supply of containers for leftovers and storage.
Give away: 2 extra glasses, 5 carry out containers (out of 10), 2 sandwich containers
Recycle: 5 plastic lids that don’t fit anything
2 #5 lids will go to Whole Foods
Pitched: 4 unrecyclable lids that don’t fit
Misc. give aways tucked in corners of misc. cupboards: mixer beaters and attachments to a broken mixer, never used Bundt cake pan, decorative nut bowl, almost never used flask, 3 of 10 misc. baskets,  several misc. lids and bases that don’t fit anything, duplicate size frying pan, very old can opener, 2 ash trays (We’ve never used the ash trays, but I suppose there was a time 30 years ago when we thought it would be hospitable to have an ashtray available if needed.)
Found: a bagel slicer that we thought had been lost
Pitched: Outdated food
4 costume leis moved to costume box
Ice-melting compound moved to basement
3 kites moved to basement sports equipment
Empty Pepsi bottle from 1989 Soviet Union trip moved to place for commemorative bottles

PANTRY: We have a large pantry for miscellaneous food staples, snacks, and cleaning supplies. I only disposed of 3 carpet cleaning supplies and a huge jug of starch. I don’t know if I ever used liquid starch but it was so old it was separating.


  1. It takes a long time to organize a kitchen. Considering how many separate small items are in a typical kitchen, it takes a while to sort and organize. Food and cooking create crumbs and scum. The cleaning process itself was worth it but took a lot of time.
  2. How many? How many storage containers, baskets, etc. should be saved? A few are handy but there should be a limit. I usually aimed to reduce items like these by about half.
  3. The 20/20 Rule. I wavered about whether to keep rarely used. Maybe someday I’d want to make a Bundt cake. Maybe I should keep the starch just in case some obscure repair instructions call for it someday. I finally summoned up my courage when I heard about the 20/20 Rule. If it can be replaced in under 20 minutes and costs under $20, let it go.


The past 10 days have included a trip to urgent care, 3 days of company, and a weekend of contra dancing so I pruned my finely tuned schedule instead of stuff. Fortunately 2 of those days were Sundays and the rooms didn’t contain a lot of stuff to give away.

LIVING ROOM: Since our furniture is all functional, I turned to drawers and our music cabinet.
Cassette Tapes. I know tapes are dinosaurs but we have a CD/tape player that can still play cassettes. I had 97 tapes and ruthlessly culled 31 leaving 66 tapes, some as current as 2,000.
CDs: I had 104 CDs. I gave away 5 at the dance music swap, so I now have 99 CDs. If this sounds like a simple math process, even though tapes and CDs take up very little room it takes a lot of time to sort them into categories and mark the cabinet with Contra, Musicals, Folk, International, Social Justice, Seasonal, and Background Music labels.
Outdated Directories. The only things I was allowed to ditch from end tables were 2 neighborhood Directories from 2004 & 2008. My husband insisted that all the large atlas’s were his domain including a large 2005 topographical atlas of Denmark. We’ve never been to Denmark.

HALLWAYS: One would think that hallways would have little to prune because all we do is walk through. However, our hallways have secret passageways where the kids have squirreled away precious things like:
131 floppy discs. I’m not sure which young adult left them but many seem to be back-up discs or role playing games.
3 slide carousels. (OK, these are probably parental relics and will go to whichever thrift shop will take them.) Click here for creative uses. I’ll never use these but they’re fun to imagine.
13 political buttons: I was only allowed to throw away 2 duplicates since any serious citizen should not be without buttons from 2008
Things to be relocated: 33 old LP albums from the 60’s-70’s. For now they will go to the basement with 50 other old LPs next to the phonograph that doesn’t work. I’ll deal with that later.
An antique photo album from Jim’s family is barely holding together and I have no idea who the people are (Jim hardly does either and he’s the oldest living relative). Still, it looked so historical I moved it to the trunk with other memorabilia. (Click to enlarge.)

Insights from half way through:
1. Getting permission: I could get rid of a lot more stuff, if I didn’t have to get the kids’ and spouse’s OK lest I risk family disharmony.
2. Guilt: Obsolete items like slide carousels, floppy discs, outdated campaign paraphernalia are easy choices to discard but I get a pang of guilt since I don’t know of a worthy home to give them to and don’t want to just contribute to a landfill.
3. It’s habit forming: The mindset of giving things away is growing on me. Items that I thought I didn’t want to part with yet from past rooms, are starting to feel rather unimportant to save in the grand scheme of life and what I actually use.
4. Catharsis: Emptying out a space, cleaning it, and reorganizing the contents, even if barely anything is deleted, can take more time than just pitching it. But it does make me feel better.
5. Time: Half an hour a day always feels too short once I get on a roll, but some days it’s hard to justify even 30 minutes.

BEDROOM #3  (Click on photos to enlarge)
Days 10, 11, 12 I thought this bedroom would be easy because I knew I dare not remove any of our daughter’s memorabilia. It hasn’t really been her bedroom since she graduated from college, almost 20 years ago, BUT she had personalized it by painting murals and sayings on the walls. Besides, anyone who hangs 26 paper cranes from a ceiling by definition is particular about her belongings. Good, I didn’t plan on going through any of her stuff. It only took about 15 minutes to assess if anything was really extraneous. I relocated about 10 empty frames and a tool box. So, why spend 3 days here? Because one thing leads to another, and other family member’s stuff was stored in this room.

The closet: At right is the before and after picture of the closet. It looks identical, BUT,
Taxes: Our accountant said we only need to store tax returns for 7 years. We had tax receipts from 1987-2009. I’ll shred these but it did free up 51 paper clips. We refilled the box with 2011-2018 information.
Calendars: Jim has saved calendars from 1964-2018 (that’s 54 years). Perhaps his biographer will want these when he becomes famous 🙂. Since I don’t control his giveaways, I merely reorganized them to fit better.
Barbies: We keep these for visiting kids. Maybe they’ll be worth something some day.
HS & College papers: I think most of these can be pitched but they’re not mine and they’re not hurting anything in the closet so I’m leaving them for our grown kids to determine their fate when they visit at Christmas.

File cabinets: My husband loves geography. One file cabinet holds mostly maps organized by state and country. No harm in keeping them and pruning them would be a marital mistake. The other file cabinet held historical files from his tenure on our local school board. It’s not mine. Let it be. It also held back newsletters from Parenting for Peace & Justice. Jim was on staff for PPJ but we both were involved, so I felt I had standing to review these. I saved one copy of each issue from 1981-1999. Anyone want to read some interesting articles from 20 years ago?

Days 13, 14 By the time I got to our last guest bedroom I was tired of sorting through other people’s memorabilia, so I reorganized some stuff, will give away some little children’s toys. I did, however, find 12 old T-shirts that my husband had collected from bike-a-thons. He agreed to let me pass on half. I did find 5 totally useless objects: unopened cassette tape and roll of Kodak camera film, deteriorating candy, broken lighter, and obsolete stamp.

Days 15, 16 The upstairs bathroom may be the smallest room in our house but I knew it would take a lot of time, so I “stole” a bedroom day. The cabinets over and under the sink only took about 30 minutes but the linen closet was almost an all day affair since it included all kinds of medicines and other health related equipment.
• Brace from when I broke my arm. I hope to not need it again.
• Hairdryer: One useful find was an extra hairdryer to give away.
• Medications: I found 31 expired medications of which 8 expired over 20 years ago and many were no longer needed. For example, our kids are way past needing acne medications. Although not all expired medications are unsafe or ineffective, I decided to safely dispose of most of them.
• Useful Tip-Razors: What do you do with 4 extra disposable razors? Gillette is partnering with Terracycle to offer free recycling. April 25 Update: I finally got around to using the Gillette razor/Terracycle “free” return program. I found it not to be as easy as I expected. Apparently Terracycle has not yet worked out the kinks in this so at this time one still has to register to get a mailing label (which is free) but the postage is not. They are working on simplifying this for local recycling of hazardous waste like razors.
Finally, I’ve finished the upstairs!

We’re 9 days into Lent (not counting Sundays) which means according to my master plan I should have spent 4 days pruning our Master Bedroom, 4 days pruning  Bedroom #2, and 1 day pruning the upstairs Bathroom. I’m one day behind (the bathroom), but who’s counting. I know curious minds want to know how it’s going so you can compare your progress (no matter what your Lenten resolution) to mine. Click on any photo to enlarge.

Day 1 – Closet Clothes
: I read somewhere on Google that a garment goal should be to use no more than 40 hangers for my clothes. It’s a totally arbitrary rule but it gave me something to shoot for since I was using 50 hangers. Since I work at home I no longer need daily outfits for an office environment. I thought it would be easy. It wasn’t. I kept 3 suits, 5 dressy jackets, 9 long sleeve blouses, 2 short sleeve blouses, 2 vests, 6 skirts, 8 pants, and 5 dresses = 40.
I decided to give away: 4 long skirts, 2 blouses, 1 dressy jacket, 1 sweater, 1 dress. I relocated 1 contradance skirt to my dance clothes closet in another room. (I’ll deal with that later.)
My criteria were:
Did the tops I kept match my iconic black or blue bottoms (skirts or pants)?
If anything needed repair, I let it go.

Day 2 – Closet Hooks: But what about stuff in the closet that wasn’t on hangers? One surprise was how many belts I had that I no longer use. Out of 15 belts I’m giving away 8. In the belt category I’m also counting many suitcase straps and travel accessories that were hanging on hooks in the closet. My scarf organizer was getting crowded so I’m giving away 3 scarves. I also found 2 tote bags (from conferences) that I don’t need and a hat that I never wear. (See below)

Day 3 – Shoes & Prayer: I hoped to prune my shoes from 10 to 8 but each has a different function. For those who care, I kept the following pairs: 2 winter everyday black shoes, 4 dress shoes (black or white), 1 summer sandals, 1 hiking shoes, 1 slippers, and 1 water-socks.
Since I didn’t prune any footwear, I turned my attention to a little magazine rack near my prayer table. It was crowded with prayer booklets that I  figured I would read or re-read one day. One can never have enough prayer aids, right? Wrong! As meaningful as these seasonal booklets are, many no longer fit my morning meditation style. I’m passing on a third of them to inspire others.

Day 4 – Misc. Drawers: Since I do a lot of travel I’ve collected a bunch of passport holders, mini-purses, conference name tags, and fanny packs. These are helpful but I had a lot of duplicates. After sorting through them I had a happy thought. We’ve invited our 10 year old niece to do an immersion program in Ecuador this summer. I let her pick one of these extra small security pouches for our trip.
I also cleared out a drawer of patterns in my sewing desk to make room for more important memorabilia since I no longer sew as much as I used to. As luck would have it, I ran into a serious sewer when at a local fabric shop and she was happy to receive 30 of my used patterns.

Day 5 – Boarder’s Stuff
: This day was easy. I checked the dresser drawers and found that a friend who stayed with us for the better part of a year had left some of her clothes. No problem, I emailed her and the next time she is in town she will pick up her bag of clothes.
I thought the rest would be easier than my own bedroom since it’s a guest bedroom with almost nothing in the closet. BUT, I forgot that we also store some of our adult children’s “treasures” there. The easy answer would be to just have them come get their stuff and take it to their new homes. It wasn’t so easy because the one who had the most stored stuff lives in Singapore. Two live a 10 hour drive away and the last one lives in a small attic apartment.

Day 6 – Kids Games: After reviewing stuff in the desk drawer I identified about 10 small children’s toys and puzzle games that I thought they no longer wanted. BUT, it wasn’t my stuff so I dutifully emailed them and asked if I was free to pass on these items to a worthy home or shelter. I’m waiting.

Day 7, 8, 9 – The Trunk: I hadn’t looked in this trunk for years since I knew it was old memorabilia that I didn’t need on a daily basis. Well, time’s up. This was a challenge since it contained trophies (mine, Jim’s, our kids’), ancient photo albums, old coins, and other miscellaneous mementos and letters. This project took 3 more days because it involved:
Re-emailing kids about which trophies and diplomas they wanted to keep
Relocating our pre-marriage love letters to a private place
Repairing the hinged tray to make it easier to store small stuff
Sorting through duplicate photos from our children’s exchange programs with Norway, Argentina, Italy, France, Turkey…
Sorting misc. memorabilia for all of us

I eventually decided to give away kid games (once I get permission), my H.S. golf trophy (after taking a photo of it), and a large crucifix (since we already have one in almost every room). I relocated a formal painting of our house and rehung a large poster of Moscow from our family exchange program there. Still waiting for permission for more of the kid’s memorabilia.

How is pruning the inside of your house going for you?

Lent starts next Wednesday, March 6. This will be my 10th Lent of trying to do something in addition to giving up sweets – such as actions that will help me be a better person by sharing my stuff, my money, simplifying my life, spending less, wasting less, eating less, and being less critical. All of these commitments are my way of increasing my solidarity with those for whom having less is not a choice but a necessity. See my Living Lightly blog home page for an overview. (Not eating sweets is a sacrifice but mostly it is a daily reminder to be faithful each year’s commitment.)

This year I decided to go “room by room” clearing out things I no longer need. One would think that by year 10 I would have little extraneous things left since I don’t purchase a lot of new things. In fact, the casual visitor to our home would probably not consider it cluttered. That’s because
1.  We have a big house with lots of closets
2.  I’m a good organizer and can magically hide things.

But, I have become aware that as I age and watch peers deal with disposing of parents’ belongings after they die, that I don’t want to burden our children with sorting through all our stuff one day.

So here’s the plan: go room by room finding things to give away, throw away, or re-purpose. I invite any of you intrepid souls to join me.

How Many Rooms Per Week?
With 6 ½ weeks of Lent I figured I would do a room a week. Unfortunately math is not my strength. As I said, we have a big house with 8 primary rooms (not counting my husband’s office which I figured was his responsibility). It doesn’t neatly fit a 6 week plan. As I walked around I realized that I should also count bathrooms and hallways since they often had closets and stuff to prune. I came up with:
8 primary rooms (4 bedrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room, and my basement office)
2 bathrooms
5 hallways with closets or shelves
1 unfinished basement storage area (laundry room)
16 rooms total
Answer: I decided to take 4 days for each of the 8 primary rooms (that’s 32 days) plus 1 day for each of the 8 ancillary rooms (8 days). This totals the 40 days of Lent.

How Much Time Per Day?
A perfectionist without a life might say, “As long a it takes.” I don’t have a lot of discretionary time each day. Who does? So I arbitrarily decided to commit to 30 minutes a day of pruning. This seemed reasonable amount of time without feeling prohibitive which might block me from starting. I will allow myself to add extra time if I just feel so motivated once I get into a project like a clothes closet or book shelves and just really want to finish it.
Answer: 30 minutes a day (a little more if I feel motivated and have the time.)

Where to Take the Stuff?
Answer:  The usual places. See Where to take it all.  For overall background and national information, see Recycling Revolution. For Cincinnati area resources click here

Any Exceptions?
Answer: Like any good plan there will need to be exceptions. I will be out of town some days. I may get sick. I just sprained my ankle so that may delay me at least 6 months. 😉 It’s OK, The process is adjustable and I’ll forgive myself.

Accountability: I’ll post my progress about once a week. I’d love to have you join me and tell me how it’s going with you.

I’ve got a big plan for Lent this year which will come in a couple weeks so I’m just catching up on smaller things that came my way recently.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities
Some give aways come by chance. We hired someone to do some electrical work at our house and the worker happened to mention that his hobby was making craft projects (like elaborate sailing ships) out of popsicle sticks. Ah Ha! I had recently reorganized some drawers and found a large supply of craft sticks that I suppose I was saving for some art project with the kids that never happened. Why not pass them on to this fellow who would use them soon rather than “maybe someday.” Keep your eyes open. Opportunities to lighten your possessions can come unbidden. Have you ever been blessed by seeing an unexpected opportunity to give or share?

Helping kids give stuff away
Last Christmas we gave each of our grandchildren a gift that we knew they would really enjoy. BUT we also decided to give them a gift that we hoped would stimulate their generosity. We gave them a $50 certificate from Toy Lending Library of Cincinnati (a local non-profit that lends toys or books to needy children in our city).

We also asked them if they wanted to “match” this gift by choosing several toys or books that they were willing to have us give away from our stash of stuff we kept for them when they visited. They chose several books and a few of our many plastic dinosaurs and little cars. I took the books to a nearby Little Free Library but wasn’t sure who to give the toys to.

As it turned out, four children were playing near the Little Free Library so I offered them the toys and they were happy for the unexpected treat. We hoped that taking a step to give away some of Nana’s toys might prompt them to do the same at home. We’ll see.

PS: In the Vogt spirit of giving Christmas gifts that serve others, I was thankful and proud that our daughter, Heidi, gave me an “alternative” Christmas gift called “A Child’s Arrival Bundle.”  from the Choose Love store that gives helpful products to refugees.

What do you do when you buy something that turns out to be a mistake. Perhaps it’s the wrong size, defective, or you just change your mind. Of course you could

  • Return it to the store or Amazon – but that takes time or postage.
  • Suck it up and use it anyway.
  • Or…might you look at it as an opportunity to pass it on?

I’ve recently done all of the above.
Return it: I bought an apron as a gift for Jim but it wasn’t quite the right style. After discussion and more careful washing of his previous apron, we agreed that it was fine to just return it.

Suck it up: I don’t wear much make-up but I was almost out of the color and kind of lipstick I prefer. Unfortunately, the original manufacturer no longer made it. I found something that looked similar on Ebay but when I got it, it was too dark – which of course I only confirmed by using it. It didn’t seem right to return it or pass it on, so I’m dithering and sucking it up. Haven’t yet found the perfect substitute.

Pass it on:

  • I don’t drink coffee but a few of our relatives do so I bought some free trade coffee as Christmas gifts. One bag was decaffeinated because I mistakenly thought our daughter drank that. Once I realized my mistake I couldn’t return it to the Christmas bazaar where I bought it. I put out an email to friends and found I had some decaf drinking friends. Success!
  • I needed new underpants (sorry, no photo) I bought some that I thought would fit but after trying them on at home in a sterile way, I realized they were too big. I couldn’t return them because I had removed the packaging. Solution: give them to the local women’s shelter.
  • Hamilton ticket. This is a long convoluted story, but suffice it to say that in the long, tedious process of working through a lottery to get tickets to Hamilton, we had mistakenly bought one extra single seat ticket.
    *My frugal side said, “Hey, I bet I could sell this for more than I paid for it.”
    *My altruistic, dramatic side said “Maybe, on the night of the play, I should just find a street person and surprise them with the ticket and drive him/her to the theater.”
    *My easy side won when I learned that a friend close to the family was hoping to go to the play, so I just gave it to her.

Moral to the stories: There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but look for the generous one.