Living Lightly

Susan Vogt on living more simply but abundantly

Browsing Posts published by Susan Vogt

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Something’s are hard to let go of and something’s are a pleasure to give away. First the hard one. A few days ago I had a car accident. It was totally my fault and nobody was hurt except my pride. I made too sharp a right hand turn into a parking lot and two boulders jumped out in front of my car. With my car perched on top of these two rocks I couldn’t go forward or backward. I was stuck. It was mostly embarrassing but I knew it would also be expensive. (All car repairs are expensive.)

The tow truck came; I borrowed my son’s car to get home after my meeting; and then I started to feel sorry for myself. The garage said we would be without our beloved Honda hybrid for a couple weeks. Since we had proudly downsized to one car, I figured this would mean a stint of borrowing cars and rides from friends, organizing my errands more carefully, and maybe walking or riding a bike when normally I would have just jumped in the car. And what if it couldn’t be repaired? That would be a real tragedy since this Honda had been a real find and we were so pleased that it was a hybrid. After my pity party subsided a bit, Jim told me that our car insurance would pay for a rental car. I relaxed and thanked God for such things as insurance. The hard part was letting go of my pride and comfort.

The experience, however, got me in touch with the reality that many people are forced into living car-less. Coincidentally, a couple hours after the accident I saw a post by a fellow blogger talking about downsizing cars. I started following it and discovered the creative ways that many people have gone totally car free and what obstacles prevent others from doing the same. Hmmm. I don’t think that’s the route we’ll take in the near future, but it’s something to think about. Still, seeing the front end damage to our beloved car was hard.

So what’s the “soft” side of this story? Shortly after the car episode, I heard that a friend’s computer crashed and he lost everything on it. Now that’s a crisis. I’m no computer guru so I couldn’t think of ways to help – at least not technically.

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But then I thought about what I had wanted after the car accident – emotional support. If the accident couldn’t be undone, at least I hoped for compassion and not blame. I looked around the house to find something comforting, other than food. I found a very soft little home made creature. I’m not even sure what animal it’s supposed to be but it’s just so much fun and soothing to touch. I decided to give it to my friend when I see him at a meeting this week. Now I feel better.

This is really a mirror image of me.

When can something that helps you see be invisible? No, it’s not Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak but a 36”x 60” mirror that I had stashed behind two dressers 30 years ago when we moved into this house. As I’ve been giving more stuff away, I’m finding things I forgot I had (or maybe it testifies to my efficient storage skills). This mirror is so big, parts of it were in plain sight but I only noticed it when I cleared off the top of the dressers. I thought it would be hard to find a home for this white elephant since mirrors are hard to transport – I tried Freecycle but the “taker” never took. Next I sent an email out to neighbors and, voila, a family half a block away claimed it and walked it to their house.

Cincinnati, Ohio recently hosted The World Choir Games. The city put on its best face, cleaning up the streets, bringing out new “flying pigs,” and extending our beautiful riverfront park system. The only thing that outperformed civic pride was the fabulous singers from all over the world. It was wonderful, but even more wonderful was an act I observed from a distance at one of their free concerts in a local park. It was a VERY HOT July evening and at the beginning of the concert the MC especially welcomed visitors from other countries. I noticed that a group near us was from Norway. A few minutes later I noticed a man with his daughter walking toward them with several snow cones. He offered them to the guests. They returned puzzled glances but then graciously accepted the refreshing treats. What an act of international diplomacy. I marveled; was proud of this unknown stranger; and then felt embarrassed that I hadn’t thought to do something similar. Ah, human nature is basically good after all.

To keep this politically neutral, here are campaign signs for 2 nonpartisan local races.

Fast forward to this political campaign season. (Actually one hardly has to fast forward since it’s been going on for almost a year now.) The incivility, rudeness, misleading ads, and stealing of campaign signs is rampant in this swing state. I am embarrassed again – but this time for my fellow citizens. Today I will go to Church and hope there are not blatant, politically partisan, or misleading comments or literature. After that I will do canvassing for the candidate of my choice. Some are bound to disagree with me. Even though I feel strongly that my candidate and related issues will best serve the common good, I am going to try hard to be civil in my discourse. Strongly principled people still need to be kind.

…10 hours later. OK, I just returned from campaigning. In addition to being civil and friendly to the people who answered my door knocks, regardless of their political persuasion, I had hoped to find an opportunity to do a random act of kindness. I had just contacted my last name who happened to be working at a corner bar, but regretfully no one had leapt out in front of me needing an act of kindness. I did, however, see a discarded cup on the ground. I decided that this was probably the best I could do – be kind to the earth. So, I picked up the cup and walked back to the bar to ask if I could put it in their trash can. The guy at the door just kept saying, “Hey, let me fill that up for you with a free Coke. We appreciate the work you’re doing.” I said, “No, it’s really just trash, but thanks for offering.” Again, others keep outdoing me in kindness. Maybe this is a metaphor for God’s lavish kindness.

Jim and I just got back from a combination work, camping, and volunteer excursion out west. During the camping phase I confirmed the truism that it takes time to save money. We were not camping to save money since we enjoy tent camping and the awesome and unique beauty of Bryce Canyon in Utah was a priceless experience; BUT we did have to buy groceries.

We went to the grocery store in the last town before the national park, but alas, it was Sunday and many stores in Utah close on Sundays. The next available place we found to buy groceries was at the park entrance. We knew this would be more expensive but what choice did we have? We looked at the prices and realized it would be at least twice as expensive as a standard grocery store. We could drive another ½ hour to the next town and hope it had an open grocery store, but we opted to pay the higher prices for the convenience and time we would save. My ultra-frugal side fretted for a while but then I realized that the price of gas alone might have eliminated any savings. Oh well… This reminded me of a number of other “save money vs. save time” dilemmas.

Dilemma #1: The time vs. money ratio
For example it takes time to:

  • Clip coupons or redeem a rebate.
  • Search the internet for the best deal.
  • Repair a piece of clothing or broken dish vs. buying a new one.

-For those who have more money than time, the decision is relatively easy – pay for it.
-For those who have more time than money, it’s a necessity.
-For those who have little of both, it’s a frustrating challenge.
But then there are people like me who have enough money, but not any to waste; some time, but many things we want to do with it. One of our kids keeps reminding me that time IS money, but I have to admit that I also take great satisfaction in the thrill of the hunt for a bargain – even if it took more time. (This is probably where I meet my nemesis, but I also find some pretty good deals.)

Dilemma #2: Saving money vs. buying quality and morally
Yes, I get some pretty good deals but at what cost? A conscientious person might remind me that:

  • A great deal might be at the cost of exploiting human labor in the US or other countries.
  • A carbon intensive product, or one that requires shipping, can shorten our planet’s lifespan. Sure, my one purchase may not impact the ozone layer but what if everybody bought like this? The few pennies saved would be cancelled out by the irretrievable cost to the environment.
  • A flimsy garment that soon comes apart at the seams may offset any savings.

It’s complicated. In your ongoing quest for living lightly and simply, where do you draw the line? Do you sacrifice your time or pay a higher price for convenience? Do you buy the bargain, no matter where it came from? Why?

A few of my pet peeves are:

  • Unnecessary use of bottled water
  • Over packaging
  • Radio interviewees who respond to the host’s “Thank you” with “Thank you” instead of “You’re welcome.”
  • Dragged music at church
  • Singing Happy Birthday to an individual in a large random group of people. (Although this probably sounds petty of me, I can’t help but think that the odds of someone else having the same birthday (and thus being slighted) are high. (The odds of any 2 people having the same birthday in a group of 23 are 50/50. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4542341

Biggest Pet Peeve:

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BUT, my biggest, recent pet peeve is the planned obsolescence of what used to be the standard size mattress. Jim and I have had a standard mattress since our wedding 40+ years ago. It still works fine. A few of our fitted sheets, however, are worn and need replacing. As I shopped for a replacement set I found that most stores now only sell sheets for the extra deep mattresses (15” pockets) My opinion is that the change to deeper mattresses has nothing to do with more comfort but with creating an artificial need for new, more plush looking bed and all the new bedding that must be bought to go with it. I admit there is a certain charm to the look of these higher beds (sort of a romantic throwback to Victorian times) BUT they are not practical for me. I can’t sit on a high bed to take my shoes off and for some I need a stool to climb into bed. Short people unite for lower beds!

This is annoying and a pet peeve because now I can’t find fitted sheets that fit without buying a new mattress. (Maybe I should adopt the Asian custom of simply sleeping on a pad. They look rested.)

What to do?
Search the internet of course. Here’s what I found. With the exception of buying expensive, made to order sheets, the most common solution offered was to buy elastic straps to hold the sheets on. One brand is Grippit. Often they are called “sheet suspenders.” I suppose these will tighten the larger sheets to make them fit more snuggly but their primary audience is people who have the deeper mattresses whose old sheets slip off because they’re now too small.

Best solution:
One search suggested a classic and ironic solution – Go to thrift stores or ask older relatives if they have any extra sheets. When the early adopters went to the higher mattresses, their sheets often went to Goodwill. I did that and found one set. I then found another through an older friend who got them at an auction. Hmmm, not a quick, buy it online solution.

Back to pet peeves:
Still, the original question remains. Should I just let go of my pet peeves and the annoyances that I carry with me? Wouldn’t this lighten my mind and my life? It depends on whether the pet peeve leads me to take action to right a wrong; or if it’s simply a personal preference. Bottled water and over-packaging are causes worth fighting for. I’ll keep them. “You’re welcome.” and singing Happy Birthday are probably not hurting anyone. I’ll let go of them. I’ve already talked with our music director about dragging the music and I think it’s getting better. So there!

PS: Now don’t get me started on all those decorative pillows that one has to toss on the floor before getting into bed.

All four of our children are sprung, but not their stuff. We still store memorabilia, some clothes, and high school papers that one 30 something can’t possibly part with. In their defense two of our children live out of the country, and one has a two room apartment with no storage space. The fourth young adult? Well…it’s complicated. During my first year of purging I implored each of them to tell me what absolutely must be saved and what I could give away. They all answered similarly – almost everything was a treasure. Please don’t give it away.

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Thus, I was delighted when our daughter made a home visit from Afghanistan and said that her birthday present to me would be to sort through her stuff and identify give-aways. Great! I eagerly awaited the results.

True to her word, Heidi did produce a decent sized pile of things she no longer wanted. What I didn’t expect was that she also included in her pile additional items of OURS that she thought cluttered the house and WE no longer needed. Some I agreed with, others I didn’t. It’s interesting how a different pair of eyes appraises what is important or a necessity. For example,

  • Heidi’s give aways
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    She was happy to give away all HER pretty childhood dresses. (I’ve been saving them for when our 3 year old granddaughter gets to be 4-10.)

  • She saw no need for the paperback1989 Desk Encyclopedia or 1992 World Almanac. “That’s what the internet is for!” (Easy for someone with a smart phone to say but OUR computers are rooms away.) In my mind, these are quick dining room reference books to settle dinner debates about what country in Africa is completely surrounded by another country.
  • OK, I agree that the silk flower arrangement does look a little shabby and is a pain to dust. (Wait, I never dust it. Maybe that’s why it looked so disposable.)
  • Meanwhile the boxes of college files and Peace Corps artifacts didn’t count because, “Oh, mom, they’re neatly packed up on that high shelf. It’s hardly a bother to keep them.”

So, as with most things in life we compromised. Actually I compromised since she’s gone again to far off places and I have the final say. 😕

Thoughts to ponder:

  • Are there things that members of your family value differently?
  • Which things are you willing to let go of but they aren’t (and vice versa)?
  • Have you ever been to a friend’s home and thought, “Hey, I could clear out a lot of the clutter here.”
  • What would the friend say if visiting your home?

Sometimes the best part of giving something away is finding the right person to give it to. My husband and I have been hosting two Korean teenage girls for the summer. They are delightful, polite, and always helpful. They arrived shortly after my watch broke. Wait, there’s a connection.

I assumed that my watch simply needed a new battery. That was true but having already replaced the battery many times the little groove that enables you to slip the back off and replace the battery had become stripped. I couldn’t do it. My local discount store that sells watches and helps with these technical things verified that it was the battery but couldn’t fix it either. I decided it was time to bite the bullet and get a new watch. I did. But, in a fit of overcompensating I later went back to the store and a more experienced sales clerk happened to be on duty. She replaced the battery, got it all back together, and voila, I had a back up watch.

This is where the Korean teens come in. I noticed neither of them had a watch. (You know, teens consider that that’s what cell phones are for.)  But their cell phone didn’t work in the USA. So, I said, “If one of you would like to have this watch, I’m happy to give it to you.” Everybody wins. I feel generous and satisfied that the watch has gone to a good cause and Suwan has a working watch – although I dare her to ever get the battery replaced.

But giving someone time is bigger than giving them a watch. One of the things I’ve been struggling with is how much time to give the girls. Now that our own children have been sprung, Jim and I have settled in to a comfortable pattern of work, prayer, household duties, and recreation. We pretty much isolate ourselves at our computers for long stretches during the day. It works for us. Hosting someone, however, requires paying some attention to them. We can’t just escape to our caves and happily hibernate. So, we’ve taken long walks, showed them the bus system, enrolled them in some tutoring classes, taught them some new games, and basically just take time to hang out and talk, albeit in somewhat basic English. It’s been a combination of fascinating, draining, and guilt inducing since I continue to feel that I’m not giving them enough quality time. It’s hard to know how much is enough.

One of the gifts they’ve given us is the gift of time and food. Korean cuisine often entails a lot of chopping and a lot of time. They’ve treated us with a number of scrumptious foods. One of my favorites is gim bap which is a Korean version of sushi. See left. We took this batch to our local Catholic Worker House when it was our turn to cook. We give, we take, we repeat. Who needs your time this week?

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Some people should take more risks, some less – that would be some of our children. Generally I’m a risk averse person. I’m cautious and long ago decided that if I’m going to die a tragic death, it should be for a cause. Thus, being shot while in a civil rights protest or because I stopped to help a person in distress would be tragic, but worth it. On the other hand, sky diving or bungee jumping would not count as worth the risk. My husband, Jim, however, has a different attitude.

Last Christmas he hinted that a really neat Christmas gift would be to fly in a glider plane. Now Jim is not a reckless person either so he didn’t want to make his own plane or fly solo, but he did want to be up in the air without an engine. So, dutiful wife that I am, I found a reputable place that lets a person fly a glider (under the supervision of a trained instructor). By April the weather was conducive and he claimed his Christmas present. It was a calculated risk and probably safe enough but that didn’t mean I didn’t pray and check our life insurance; nor did I fully relax till he was safely down.

This was also around the time that we decided to take a trip to Afghanistan to visit our daughter who is an international correspondent there. (We had procrastinated for several years thinking it was too dangerous or we wouldn’t even be allowed in.) She finally persuaded us that she would take us only to safe places, that we needed to come before she moved to another country, and it would be best to come before the “fighting season” began. Hmmm. Besides, she often reminds us that she (or we) could easily be killed crossing the street or by an elevator in New York City. Was this a worthy risk?

I decided that the visiting our daughter in a war zone qualified as dying for a worthy cause. Yes, it was worth it. We were greatly enriched and educated by the experience. We didn’t die – didn’t even get sick or break a sweat, although we did have to go through numerous security check points. We ended up feeling pretty safe. The irony is that several months after we returned we found that one of the “safe” restaurants we ate at was the scene of a late night attack by Taliban insurgents who killed 18 patrons. Hmmm.

How much risk are YOU willing to take for a cause? What are you willing to die for?

PS: Other risks that Jim recently took:

Taking swimming lessons and then jumping into the deep end of a pool

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Letting us blindfold him and paint his big toe nail with red polish

 

…But being used in a good way. As my reputation grows for being a “go to person” for where to take used but usable clothes, toys, kitchen supplies, etc., I’ve found that people are starting to drop things off at my house. One reason is that my parish has an in-house thrift store and since I’m there almost every Sunday, it’s easy to take things with me to church and drop them off. People who know me, know that. Problem! The parish has just decided to close the thrift store. This is unfortunate but there are many places to take good stuff (like St. Vincent de Paul and Goodwill) plus, as I’ve mentioned before, Viet Vets and the Lupus Foundation make regular stops at your front door to pick up stuff. So I don’t mind storing this stuff for a couple weeks. The latest “drop off” already came in a convenient bag so I’m just passing it on as is.

To make this a legitimate give-away of my own, I’ve added a few miscellaneous dresses and jackets that I’ve found I haven’t worn in awhile. It’s not so bad being used. It’s a way to pay it forward. Besides, occasionally I find something that I want to keep myself. J I doubt that my donors would mind.

For a variety of reasons, I recently decided to change my email address from a local carrier to Gmail. Mostly it was to simplify my life when I travel. With Gmail I have access to all my archived emails which I used to keep neatly categorized with Outlook. My secondary reason, however, was that I noticed that almost all the people I knew in their 20s and 30’s were using Gmail. Maybe it would take a couple decades off my age. 😕

My one son helped me do the technical conversion, another tutored me, my daughter encouraged me, and another son just said, “Keep using it. You’ll get the hang of it and love it.”

Well, it’s been a couple weeks and I am getting the hang of it and have it set up just about the way I like it (which means it operates a lot like Outlook) but it wasn’t easy.

It took me numerous calls to my local provider’s tech support, and hours of figuring out how to decipher a new look and learn how to find things under new names and in different places. Letting go of the familiar was not easy. (It was also not easy on a couple of my contacts who reported getting 20-30 blank emails a day saying that they were being returned unread.

All this got me to thinking how it’s even harder to let go of even bigger and more important familiar ways. As my parents consider moving into an assisted living community they are faced with the need to let go of furniture that’s been in the family for decades, knowing the route to the grocery and beauty shop, and neighbors who take care of each other. As they grieve the possible loss of familiar ways and routines, my gmail transition pales in comparison.

I know that any physical move is fraught with tension and frustration as we have to consciously think through new ways to accomplish everyday tasks. Sometimes it’s so much easier just to keep things the way they are, but sometimes we just have to move on. What’s been the hardest part of a transition or move that you’ve made?

That is – too many people for one person to take care of. Our planet has about 7 billion people – all of them valuable human beings who deserve a decent life. I don’t have to listen to the news for long or simply look around my neighborhood to realize that many people need help. There’s poverty, illness, natural disasters, war… People are suffering and I want to help. Questions that arise in my heart are:

  1. How does a conscientious person respond?
  2. How many people can I help and keep my own sanity?
  3. Where do I draw the line?

These questions occur to me partly because I’ve recently been asked to lead a workshop on Life Balance and another on Taming Time. This requires me to look at my own life and assess how I’m doing myself. Here’s what I observed during the last month:

  • I’m coordinating hosting a Korean woman for 3 months,
  • She (Kyung Nam) only stayed at our home for about a week of this time since last week we also started hosting two Korean teenagers for 3 months. Of course this means planning activities, and relationship time.
  • Meanwhile I traveled to visit my aging parents (aged 87 & 94) as they need more help and there are complicated health, housing and family relationship issues to deal with. Of course I like seeing them too.
  • At the same time I got a call from one of my “sub hosts” saying the Korean woman needed a ride to Dayton (an hour’s drive) to help her daughter who is having a hard time adjusting. I decided not to do the chauffeuring but at least to make some phone calls and send out some emails to people in Dayton who could help her daughter connect with local friends.
  • My brother is looking for work after being out of the country for 3 yrs. Can I research some ESL programs that he could teach? Possibly house him while he looks for a job?
  • We MUST, absolutely must, visit our grandchildren in DC for the Baptism of the youngest this weekend. Of course we will also be delighted to see our son and daughter-in-law. Since the Korean teens will be with us, we’ll also do some sightseeing and help with meals.
  • Meanwhile, I want to be attentive to my local faith community’s growth, spiritual life, and social justice projects.
  • I want to pay attention to Church and National politics which I care about. The latest issue is how to support the nuns. How many petitions can I sign, vigils can I go to, emails can I read asking for donations and time, how many doors can I knock on?
  • I need to plunge into writing my book Living Lightly and several other writing deadlines
  • I want to be present to our daughter who will soon be visiting from Afghanistan for a week
  • Oh, oh, just got a couple emails about following up on connecting with national and international Boards I’m on. (Conference calls allow us to reach out to people beyond our physical locale but they also raise expectations about how many people we need to serve.
  • Of course there’s the economic necessity of making a living. Fortunately Jim currently has the more stable income, but I still have my freelance speaking and writing to squeeze between family, faith, health, and solving the world’s problems.
  • Balance means having some fun too – like contra dancing, tending the garden, and walking (although sometimes I consider the latter a chore.)
  • Oh yes, I’m married and don’t want to neglect my honey. We want to spend some face time together.

It’s fine if you just skimmed the list above because what I need to balance is not the point.  Your list will be different, but most people I know of good will, really want to help those in need around them and even far away. The problem is where to draw the line? It’s trite, but WWJD? How do you evaluate who to pay attention to and who to let go of – at least for now – even though all are worthy

For me, I try to put family and those physically close to me first, but sometimes they take a back seat to other people who urgently need my help – at least for a short time. Let me know how you prioritize. Those workshops are looming.

PS: This post is later than my self imposed 1st and 15th of the month schedule for obvious reason.

PART 1: Periodically my back gives me trouble. It happened recently when I spent a day preparing the garden for spring planting. This zealous gardener over did it. Not to worry. Usually one trip to my friendly chiropractor fixes me up just fine. Oh oh, time to worry. It didn’t work this time and my back continued to ache. This prompted a series of return visits, home remedies, new exercises, and self-doubt.

Eventually, it also prompted me to reflect on my health in general and the meaning of life. (The fact that I’m about to turn 65 and thus have been inundated with Medicare literature and decisions amplified my anxiety.) I really don’t feel old and basically consider myself in good health, but occasionally these little blips come up in my life and can send me into a downward spiral of “Woe is me, I might as well say farewell to my current lifestyle, and prepare to be an invalid.” I know I’m being melodramatic but when something interferes with my health it trumps everything else and it’s easy to become obsessed with what’s wrong.

This experience stirred me to think about the concept of “giving away one’s health.” After all, isn’t life a gradual accumulation of cells and skills until we reach a point (always a few years beyond my own age) when we start to lose cells, abilities, knowledge, and memory. (Of course it doesn’t always happen this neatly like a nice bell curve, but my life has been pretty predictable in this way.) When a curve ball comes my way like an illness of some kind, however, it usually prompts me to pray. (I keep telling God that he doesn’t need to get my attention this way, but God doesn’t seem to agree. Maybe I need to ramp up my divine social network – like friend God on Facebook, follow Jesus on Twitter, or put the Spirit on my email database. 😕

Giving away health to a higher power
Well, prayer seems to mysteriously work – not necessarily in the sense of magical cures – but rather through insight and comfort. Some things that prayer re-teaches me each time I start to wallow in self-pity are:

  1. Calm down. Sitting quietly in prayer calms my over-active imagination and fears.
  2. Put my problems in perspective. I start to remember that many people in our hurting world have much more serious problems than I do. Some have lost a limb, their income, their mind, a loved one, their way…
  3. Communion of Saints. This focus on others reminds me of the old/new Catholic concept of the Communion of Saints. I remember how all of us, living and dead, are united. I call upon my beloved deceased grandparents who were the epitome of unconditional love and generosity. Certainly they have God’s ear and I pray through them.
  4. “Offer It Up.” Typically this leads me to a practice that the good nuns taught us in grade school – “Offer it up.” It made sense to my child’s mind to offer up my little sufferings for others (the souls in purgatory, the starving children in China, etc.) but as a young adult I dismissed this as trite and too passive. Now I return to it with renewed understanding. I start to think of others close to me, especially my own parents and children, who are struggling with various parts of life. It gives me comfort to think that I can let go of my minor suffering and offer it up for the good of another whom I love. It seems to make it useful.

Of course these could all be mind games, but the wisdom of age and faith tells me that God can work through mind games too. How do you deal with health problems?

 

I travel a fair amount, have a brother who is a dentist, and tend to hold on to stuff way too long. I have thus collected an assortment of toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorants, soaps, shampoos, combs, and other miscellaneous things one keeps in the bathroom. When I travel, I’m especially fanatical about packing small and light. (My tightwad side doesn’t want to pay airline baggage fees and my back can’t support heavy carry on luggage.) Thus, I’ve collected more than enough shampoo containers from hotels to last me for many non-hotel trips. I finally decided I would never use them all up; but who needs this stuff?

Fortunately, I also have a good friend who works at Mary Magdalene House – a local shower/laundry/clean yourself up place for street people. Aha! Their guests can use these personal size toiletry items. The photo shows just a sample of the things I’m donating. Of course any homeless shelter would probably work, but it’s nice to have a personal connection. If your home isn’t a hotel, maybe you could let go of many of these items too. (We also seem to collect shampoo from traveling guests who forget their stuff  in our bathroom.  We often don’t know who left it so we use it up ourselves. Maybe we do run a motel 😕 .)

…For my bumper stickers. Now usually I am proud that we have finally been able to downsize to one car. I know that the single factor that can make the most difference in energy conservation for most people is to reduce auto emissions by driving less. The fact that both Jim & I work out of our home, we live in the city near a bus line, and that the children are sprung – all make this possible. The one downside to this is that I have accumulated some bumper stickers with slogans that I find compelling. I’d like to promote all these mobile messages but don’t have enough bumpers to attach them to. The one we already have on our bumper is “If you want peace, work for justice.” (Pope Paul VI) That one’s a keeper.

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But what do I do with these others?

  • Consume Less/Share More
  • Jesus is with the 99%;
  • God bless the whole world/No exceptions
  • Pro-Lifers for Peace

 

Now that Lent is over and we’ve experimented with different ways of doing the Food Stamp Challenge, here are some things I learned:

  1. It’s possible to eat nutritiously enough on $4.50/day. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
  2. It’s no fun – unless you consider constant calculations, boring food, and self-denial fun. Yes, it was a challenge, and in that sense I had a feeling of accomplishment, but I wouldn’t want to eat this way voluntarily for long. With the exception of a glass of OJ in the morning, we only drank water. We had no snacks or desserts and little meat or comfort foods. We had no alcohol except for the one date night. Probably the hardest part was all the calculating and constant attention to what I ate.
  3. An additional challenge for a middle class person like myself was to decide how to be faithful to the spirit of the challenge on the weeks when strict adherence was not practical. For example, I made exceptions on weeks #5 and #6 when hosting guests, traveling, and taking advantage of other’s hospitality.
  4. One strict week is probably enough for a consciousness raising experience. One month, however, would more closely approximate the actual lifestyle of avoiding comfort foods and expensive foods.
  5. It takes strong motivation, self-discipline, and knowledge to eat nutritiously, not just relieve hunger. The motivation can come from a religious commitment, social justice awareness, or necessity. Self-discipline is the same quality that it takes to be successful in school or a job. Many people who are on Food Stamps, however, are also hindered by poor education, a disrupted family life, mental illness, etc. so self-discipline may not be an acquired life skill. Knowledge can come from reading about nutrition or from a parent, relative, or culture that passes down healthy survival skills. There are many reasons a person might be on Food Stamps (loss of job, an illness, a financial emergency, or just plain bad decisions and an unhealthy lifestyle.) Some things are controllable. Others are not.
  6. Although we did not calculate our food expenditures for the two weeks we were in Afghanistan and India, I noticed that few people in those countries looked overly thin or overweight. They appeared healthy. When we asked about how they stayed fit, they said they walked a lot – because they had to. Of course appearances can be deceiving. It could just be that the sick or emaciated people weren’t walking the streets. The week in India consisted of rice and a sauce plus some vegetables for most meals. It could easily qualify under the Food Stamp budget.
  7. In some ways it would have been harder with children; in other ways easier. Children are pickier eaters and prone to complaining. More mouths to feed, however, would have helped the economy of scale.
  8. If you know how to get enough protein, being a vegetarian brings food costs down since meat was an expensive ingredient. Of course so were fresh vegetables and fruits, but they stretched further.
  9.  This was not a pure experiment in that it was temporary and voluntary. We had friends who treated us occasionally and had access to a stocked pantry and knowledge about nutrition. We also did not have the emotional or psychological stress of wondering where our next meal would come from. Moreover we were free to make a couple exceptions when circumstances warranted.
  10. I did take a daily multi-vitamin – as insurance. Vitamins are not covered with Food Stamps.

Although we’ll just about be home by the time Easter rises in the USA, I’d like to share some reflections on the past Holy Week we’ve spent in Ranchi, India.

Patience in the Land of Tech Support
It takes 6 weeks of Lent to get to Easter. It seems to take almost as long for emails and websites to load with the modem I was using in Ranchi, India. If you’ve sought tech support for phone or internet problems, chances are that you’ve talked with someone in Bangalore, India – often referred to as the Silicon Valley of India. Ranchi is no Bangalore – especially in the rural areas. We visited some places that don’t have electricity, much less internet connectivity (but they do have cell phones!). This is an agonizingly slow experience for a Type A, efficiency driven, multi-tasking person like myself. It has, however, given me “waiting time” during which I’ve been thinking about enforced patience. How did I parent, work, communicate, and survive 25 years ago? Much slower of course, but I didn’t know it. It only seems slow in comparison to what I know now.

Visiting
It’s not just the internet that is slow here – so are our visits with local faith communities. I’ve finally learned that when I think our meeting is over and it’s time to go, it only means it’s time to have some tea or similar drink.  When I think that is all, they start to bring out snacks – and then there may be songs, dancing, gifts, etc. Wait; aren’t we the ones who are supposed to bring gifts for our hosts? We did; but not nearly enough. Sometimes I’m a slow learner.

Prayer
I like to think that I am a prayerful person. I pray daily. God and I talk about life, the past, the future, my worries, etc. It’s not that the community I am with necessarily spends more net time in prayer, but they speak it and move more slowly. Perhaps this is good; perhaps it is just different; but it does feel a little unnatural to my western bio-rhythms. Attention to preparing the environment is also great. Flowers are artfully arranged in the prayer space including the smallest detail of how petals are placed on the ground. All this takes time. It reminds me of Montessori education – prepare a conducive environment and the people/children will be inspired and grow. Is this pace a better way or not?  God only knows. I’m simply trying to breathe it all in and understand.

Just as money doesn’t grow on trees, so also food does not spontaneously generate. It has to come from something – a seed, an animal… Here at the Marianist Novitiate in Ranchi, India, they feed 16 people plus guests on about $2 per person per day. Everyone looks well fed. How?

Do It Yourself – Together
Although this is not a farm, they raise pigs, chickens, rabbits, a few ducks, and many vegetables – along with flowers for beauty. Certainly this requires feed for the animals, seeds, and lots of labor. In a community united by a common purpose, however, it does not seem that hard. It only takes dedication, organization, and knowledge. Maybe it is a family farm after all.

Economy of Scale
Just as a large family can do better on a Food Stamp budget than a single person by buying in bulk and cooking in quantity, so too the per person food price decreases when feeding a large group the same basic food. Of course the meals consist of vegetables, some meat mixed in, and lots of rice.

Recycling Food
Not only does this community compost, we watched the novices gather the seeds from the dying plants to be replanted next season. Granted, the Indian growing season is longer than most in North America, but observing the natural rhythm of nature (seeds growing into plants which then  produce new seeds) reminds me of the Birth/Death/Resurrection cycle. Today is The Day Between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The Paschal Mystery is a good thing to remember. That’s where life happens.

 

It’s Holy Thursday, the time Christians remember the Last Supper. Jim and I are in India now, visiting the Marianist Family of sisters, brothers, priests, and lay people. The welcome at the airport by our Marianist brothers and sisters was extraordinary. It was like Jesus washing the feet of the apostles and more. Representatives from the local lay communities sprinkled us with water, ceremoniously washed our hands, applied the binda (red forehead mark of honor), bestowed bouquets of flowers plus flowered leis. Tonight we will start the Triduum with the washing of feet and the Holy Thursday service.

Regarding food: Since we had been flying on a budget airline (similar to Southwest) all food or drink on the plane had to be purchased. Not to worry, there was plenty to eat at the Marianist Community when we arrived. Since the climate is more tropical, vegetables and tomatoes are already plentiful. Of course so is the rice. More on eating in India when I have a better internet connection. I can tell you we’re not starving but indeed eating differently.

Dacian, hope you’re finding enough to eat at our house. Keep it clean.

A first impression that I have of Afghanistan is that it is very tan – meaning that the landscape is a dusty brown. Granted our daughter said that soon some green will appear as the trees start to bud out. We took a hike in a mountainous region yesterday – that is to say anywhere since it’s all mountainous – and had the pleasure of stopping to visit the relatives of our guide who offered us tea and a snack. The photo at right shows the platter of nuts and dried berries they provided (dried mulberries, walnuts, chick peas, raisins, and almonds). The generous hospitality of people who live in such a rugged climate continues to amaze me.

We finished our trek at a simple lodge where we stayed overnight. By “lodge” I mean a place that caters to ex-pat hikers and consisted of two large rooms with mattresses, toilets, a shower, and a porch. This other photo shows the lodge dinner of chicken, rice, bread, and salad. Our best estimate is that it probably cost about $4/person.

The next day’s hike was along the old city wall. This involved scrambling up the side of the mountain, picking our way around rocks and family homes built into the side of the mountain. As we climbed, more than one person we met asked if we wanted to come to their home for tea. I wasn’t sure if this was a serious invitation but Heidi said that if we said, “Yes,” they would indeed serve us tea. Their hospitality put me to shame. They did not seem to be afraid of us foreigners but indeed many greeted us with smiles and “Hello, Where are you from?” I hadn’t expected to have such up close and personal contact with people on the street, er “hillside.” It’s been rigorous, but fascinating.

Travel is always a thought provoking experience. As I write this at 4:30am Afghan time, I hear the Muslim pre-dawn call to prayer outside. It makes me think about various world religions. My thoughts also turn to food since eating in a foreign country can be both delightful and disconcerting as I try unfamiliar foods. Since I’m awake, I’m stirred to ponder some of the inconsistencies of mixing food and faith.

  • It’s Lent and today is also Friday. As a Catholic I won’t eat meat today because Lent is a penitential season – but technically the luxury food of lobster would be OK.
  • Strict Baptists don’t drink alcohol – but they follow Christ who turned water into wine at the Wedding Feast of Cana and who used bread and wine in the ritual meal of the Last Supper.
  • Muslims don’t eat pork or drink alcohol – but in Afghanistan (an officially Muslim country) poppies are grown as a cash crop. Which is more intoxicating?
  • Hindus regard the cow as sacred and thus don’t eat beef – but pork is OK. What makes a particular animal sacred and another not? Are pigs, sheep, chickens, etc. deserving of less protection and honor? What about bunny rabbits?
  • Orthodox Jews keep kosher – but Reformed Jews may not. Still, Jewish identity and bonds are strong even if eating practices differ.
  • Environmentalists don’t drink bottled water – but for a westerner like me, traveling in a third world country, bottled water is the responsible thing to do.
  • In some countries eating dog is considered a delicacy – but in other places pet owners would be horrified.
  • Vegetarians don’t eat meat but vegetables that can’t be cooked or peeled are unsafe for travelers in many third world countries.

Another food thought: Food Insecurity

So far during this Food Stamp Challenge I have not experienced actual hunger. I’ve always had enough to eat – even if it wasn’t what I wanted to eat. Yes, I gave up desserts, chose to drink only water (except for my morning OJ), and couldn’t afford snacks or much meat BUT, eating in a country like Afghanistan is different. Although we’ve had plenty to eat (thanks to the gracious hospitality of our daughter) one colleague we talked with suggested that one of the biggest causes of instability here is food insecurity. I came here concerned mostly about physical safety since it’s a war torn country. Afghanistan is also among the 10 least developed countries in the world. Many people physically go hungry or turn to crime, corruption, or violence to meet the basic need of food. A government or religion that can provide food, can buy the hearts of the people. Getting food, of course is also connected to having arable land, knowledge about how to farm in a mountainous and harsh climate, and tools to work with. It’s not just a matter of dropping food packages from helicopters.

Yet in this country where too many do not have enough to eat, today we will watch a new sport – buzkashi. It’s played like polo where players ride horses and try to grab a decapitated goat and throw it across a goal. Apparently some people can afford to use a goat for recreation. Hmmm.