Living Lightly

Susan Vogt on living more simply but abundantly

Browsing Posts published by Susan Vogt

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When I was dispersing my clothes last year, one thing I realized is that I didn’t need any more commemorative T-Shirts. I made a decision not to buy any more. Then, a couple weeks ago I came across one I really wanted to have. Hmmm. I bought it with mixed emotions. Then, I remembered the “1 In – 1 Out” principle and found that one of my favorite T-shirts had a spot on it. Not a fatal spot, but I took it as a sign that I should give it away. Now I feel better. Can you guess which one I bought and which one I’m giving away?

My garden didn’t do too well this year EXCEPT for zinnias. Maybe it’s my reward for not getting upset in June when the visiting cyclists’ sag wagon ran over some of them. Anyway,  they resurrected and I’ve been taking flowers as host gifts and many other occasions for the past month. Obviously I still have an overabundance of zinnias. As frost looms, however, soon I won’t have any. Today I cut the remaining ones and am looking for receivers – worthy or not. If you live near me, come on over. The rest will go to soup kitchens and homeless shelters. (Is there a spiritual connection here? See Mt 6:28, Mt 22:10)

In my never ending effort to both simplify my life and still keep up with the Joneses, I’ve started an open Facebook group called Living Lightly and Tweet on this theme @Vogt_Susan. On the one hand I’m still trying to give things away and unclutter my life, but on the other hand I’m trying to use modern technology to spread my ideas. It’s hard to keep up with all the various social media and I had no intention of cluttering my (or other’s) inbox or cell phone with more email or tweets. Still several people advised me that to get my message heard by the most people I should take advantage of these mediums. Aarrgh! This takes time, effort, and doesn’t feel like it’s making my life freer and less complicated. We’ll have to see. I welcome opinions and expertize from others on this conundrum. Meanwhile, follow me, if you dare.

I go to lots of meetings. Maybe you do too. One of the things that continues to amaze me is how some people seem to have little concept of how long they talk. At a recent meeting I witnessed co-presenters, who both had valuable things to say, but one talked so long that the other’s time had to be cut short. This also happens of course in interpersonal conversation when one person is long winded or dominates a discussion. I must admit, even I do this sometimes. (I have this on good authority from my husband.) This week I’m going to try to talk shorter. I’ve had some good practice while on our recent trip to Korea and Japan since everything had to be translated.
Strategies I’ve learned when dealing with long winded people in groups are:

  1. Ask people to write down their thought on a piece of paper first. This gives the introverts time to collect their thoughts.
  2. Announce ahead of time that no one can share a second time until everyone has spoken once.
  3. When the talker takes a breath (or when the leader has the floor) refer to a point the speaker just made, then transition to a new person.
  4. Break into smaller groups or partners so everyone gets more air time.
  5. Remember that often extroverts talk in order to think. (That’s me) The talker isn’t trying to dominate, they just need to talk to figure out what they think. (This doesn’t make it helpful, but it can increase understanding.
  6. Give the talker a job to do – like take minutes or get refreshments.

One of the things I pride myself on is traveling lightly. I usually can fly anywhere for up to two months with only a carry on (and a husband to lift things). Not only is it easier to transport luggage from place to place but it avoids lost bags and my thrifty side is happy not to pay to check a bag. I have to break some of my frugal rules and buy some small specialized items of clothing or toiletries, but it’s worth it to me.

Top 10 travel tips that I’ve cultivated over the years:

  1. Cultivate “easy hair”, i.e. very short or very long
  2. Pack for 1 week, i.e. 8 underpants/socks and several versatile outfits. (Plan to wash clothes once a week)
  3. Ideally take everything in one carry on and a backpack/large purse.
  4. Wear your heaviest/bulkiest items, i.e. shoes and coat
  5. Ideally plan your trip for warm weather so you don’t need heavy clothes.
  6. Use scarves instead of heavy jewelry. They’re light and can make one basic outfit look like 4.
  7. Avoid umbrellas and simply take a fold up rain hat and rainproof jacket or coat.
  8. Color synchronize your wardrobe so most everything goes with each other.
  9. Try to limit shoes to 2 pair: one for heavy duty walking (These are the ones to wear on the plane.) and another that are still comfortable but dressier, i.e. sandals.
  10. Duct tape (for fixing anything)

    7″ purse

Wallet or tiny purse necessities:

  • Identification: drivers license (passport, and/or visa for foreign travel)
    (copy of passport packed separately plus one left home with a relative)
  • Tickets/Currency: some cash plus basic credit card
  • Information: A phone doubles as an address book, calendar, camera, map.
  • Health: vaccinations, Rx info, + Covid mask, menstrual supplies if needed
  • Backup info: itinerary to relatives, family photos, business cards
  • Miscellaneous: Pen & tiny notebook, comb, hair bands, rubber bands, safety pins, tweezers

Backpack or fanny pack toiletries:

  • Hand sanitizer
  • Sunglasses, sun screen, folding hat for sun or rain,
  • Scarf
  • Toilet paper if camping or in a 3rd world country

Suitcase toiletries & miscellaneous:
(Couples/Families: Unless you will be staying in separate places, combine toiletries)

  • Medications (+ aspirin, anti-diarrhea, sore throat lozenges, cough drops, vitamins…)
  • Health: Deodorant, a few Band-Aids, moleskin
  • Personal care items (shampoo, soap, wash cloth, razor, cosmetics, menstrual items)
  • Toothpaste, toothbrush, dental floss
  • Hair products (brush & accessories)
  • Laundry bag & washing product (example; Woolite)
  • Sewing kit basics
  • Mini-mirror
  • Phone charger
  • Host gifts

 

 

 

Once I diligently finished my first 365 days of give-aways, I promised myself that this would not be the end of giving stuff away. Although my pace has slowed, I notice that I am now more mindful about what accumulates around the house. BUT, I don’t want to make weekly drives to Goodwill or Best Buy (to recycle electronics) because of the time and gas consumption. Taking odds and ends to our parish on Sundays is easier, but it’s a hassle for them to open the “free department store” for one item. So, I’ve developed the following system to take care of those miscellaneous items.

I’ve designated one dresser top as my storage place. When it gets crowded or I’m ready to make a trip, I transport like-minded objects in one trip. I suppose there could be a problem if I ever am strong enough to give the extra dresser away, but we have lots of unused nooks in this old house. (That’s how I got into storing unnecessary stuff in the first place. 🙂 )

PS: For the curious with aging eyes, my miscellaneous items included a monitor, sheets, books, kitchen supplies, and a purse.

You may remember that several months ago I got a new computer and blogged about Letting Go of the Familiar. At that time I put off cleaning up the convoluted way my files were organized thinking I had enough to do just to learn Windows 7 and Microsoft 10. The day of reckoning came, however, when I couldn’t find the right location to load PDFs onto my website. I finally needed to deal with this.

The specifics are way too complicated to go into now. Suffice it to say that I contacted tech support twice and spent a total of 3½ hours on hold and talking to various tech support people. One of the solutions involved copying all my files to a different place on my computer. I didn’t want to do a global replace since I wasn’t sure it would save my most recent file. This means I now have over 4,000 duplicate documents, all with a cute little “(2)” designating the duplicate. I’ve started the painstaking task of deleting all the duplicates but I have to visually check any document created in the last four months to make sure I save the most recent one.

For awhile I stewed about this time consuming task and my irritation was increasing. It even distracted me from morning prayer. This was good, because I started to pray my gratitude prayer and focus on reality.

  • This is going to take time, but computers also save me time.
  • This is not a life and death situation and my fretting about it will not change anything.
  • It is good that there are people and services like free tech support that patiently helped me through the conversion (despite the decision to copy every document).
  • When I hear on the news about the starving people in Somalia, people near me with life-threatening illnesses, the unemployed desperately seeking work to feed their families, and all the other real problems of those near and far, this pales as a problem.

So, just as I have to let go of duplicate material goods, I’m now letting go of duplicate words and the time it takes to do it. Sometimes getting rid of stuff consumes a lot of time.

One of the things I’ve learned about letting go of stuff over the past 1½ years is that choosing what to give away is easier than figuring out how to give it away. Knowing who or where to take it to, carting it there or waiting for someone to pick it up, or repairing/recycling is often the bigger challenge. Although I’ve covered this topic in previous blogs, I still keep finding new sources and related articles.

Thinking that anyone attempting to prune their possessions would appreciate help, I’m passing on my most recent finds:

  1. Electronics. Cincinnati Habitat for Humanity has partnered with Ohio Drop Off to recycle used or broken electronics. Check if your local Habitat does this also.
  2. Where To Get Rid of Clothing, Toys, Old Phones, and More. (Oprah, March 2011)
  3. How To Live With Less (books, clothes, clutter, mail, screen time, sentimental objects, toys, cars) – a blog by Joshua Becker
  4. A Store Where Everything is Free Unique concept by Victoria Kreha in Green America, June/July 2011. For a humorous look at this notion, check out this YouTube video All That – The Everything For Free Store.

PS: To easily find previous blogs related to where to take stuff, see Days –8, –7 (the Basics), 85-91 (FreeCycle), Extra 294-295 (Uses for Useless Stuff), 309-322 (Books), 323-329 (Electronics), and anything tagged Recycling.

Thanks to Jim for an uncharacteristic face.

I don’t know if I’m madder at our country (think debt ceiling, politics, greed), our Church (think scandals, reneging on Vatican II), or the world (think environmental degradation, abuse of power, wars, poverty). I could go on, but that just makes me madder. So how do I let go of my anger? Lately I’ve been bringing it to prayer. The complaints come unbidden so I might as well integrate it into prayer. What I’ve found helpful is to balance anger with gratitude. Here’s how I got the idea.

A few months ago I was facilitating an Awakening the Dreamer symposium. At the end I asked each person if they could identify one step they could take to create a more environmentally sustainable, socially just, or spiritually fulfilling world. Of course I had to commit to something myself. I felt my plate was already full of commitments so I hesitated to take on one more project. I decided to commit to noticing one thing each day I was grateful for and to do this during morning prayer.

It’s been a good experience for me. As soon as I start fretting about the ills of our society, I call to mind that at least I have electricity and running water, or that we finally decided on which car to buy and had the money to buy it, or that my back pain and cold left in time for me to enjoy a dance weekend, or that there are even folk dances that people still do, or that there’s a gentle breeze…

About 10 years ago we offered a friend a place to live during the week while he commuted from his home in Louisville to teach classes at a local university in northern Kentucky. Isaac was an easy guest. He often cooked, brought international friends to visit through the exchange programs he organized, and even bought a bed and other bedroom niceties to help make his bedroom feel like home.

Well, Isaac has gotten a Fulbright to teach in Norway for a year and thus has moved out. So has his bed. This is fine but now we have quite a big hole in the middle of the bedroom. (We of course got rid of extra beds during our “give away year.” This is not a huge problem, but it does illustrate the other side of giving stuff away – Someday I might want an item that I gave away in a fit of generosity. We’re expecting some Korean guests next month and the floor is fine with them; in fact they prefer it. But other visitors have more American tastes. So, we’re looking.

PS: But we’ve found a car. You may remember that about two months ago our car died. We’ve been living on borrowed cars till a week ago. For all those who have been holding their breath wondering what kind of car we would decide on, the decision has been made. It wasn’t without angst, but after almost buying a used gas combustion car, we found a good deal on a hybrid and are now happy to report that our values and car are in sync. (Not that a high mpg Toyota Corolla would have been a bad choice, I just feel better about supporting the movement to less gas consuming, polluting vehicles.

As my friends and family can attest, I am frugal and thrifty – to say the least. (Our kids often have less flattering terms for it.) So, when a fellow rang the doorbell and offered to do some yard work for us, my first impulse was to say, “Thank you, but No, we would do our own mulching and weed whacking.”

But this guy was persistent and came back several times. He seemed eager to work. My husband helped me see this in a new light when he said, “Hey, the guy needs money and he’s willing to work for it. Why not honor his industriousness and consider it a donation to a good cause.” So we did.

This reminded me of experiences two of our adult children had when living in Indonesia, Mali, and Senegal. When we visited them we were aghast that each of them had a maid. “Hey, this isn’t the Vogt way of doing things. Haven’t you been reared to do things for yourself rather than have ‘servants’”? Each of them explained the local culture to us saying that if one is educated and making a decent income in these poor countries, it is expected that you will provide work for those who need it. Not to do so would be considered selfish. Hmmm. Now I’m looking at things a little differently.

How do you feel about doing stuff yourself versus paying for someone else to do it? What criteria do you use to make these decisions?

One of the first persons to respond to my blog asked the question, “Are you also giving away non-things – ideas or suggestions for programs or talks? Can you let go of any of these intangibles?” That idea has been haunting me for quite awhile since I am a freelance speaker and writer and my livelihood depends on getting paid for my words. I think, however, I’ve discovered a way to give away some of my words without unduly threatening the family income. Following are two “non-things” that I’ve decided to give away.

  1. I recently did a marriage workshop and decided I would create a Marriage Scavenger Hunt Handout that couples or parishes could use – free.
  2. More importantly, I’ve written a companion piece to my latest book, Parenting Your Adult Child: Keeping the Faith (And Your Sanity). This supplement is meant for young adults themselves as they manage the various life transitions from age 18-40. At first I was going to try to find a publisher for it, but I’ve decided to donate it to the Busted Halo website. Since most of it is already written, it’s more important to get the ideas out to young adults than to sit on it.

 

To balance my last blog about giving our car away (and deciding whether ecology trumps saving money), I thought I’d turn to chocolate. One of our sons gave me a delightful Christmas gift of a box of chocolates delivered once a month. Unfortunately, the third and final installment came right as Lent was starting – and I had given up sweets for Lent. (I know, it’s very “old church” but I also gave up complaining which I figured was very “new church.”) Anyway, I had the chocolates tucked away waiting for Easter when I would carefully ration myself to one a day to make them last almost a month.

THEN, we had guests for dinner and no dessert. I vacillated about offering the chocolates since they were the yummiest yet. Finally, motivated by the spirit of generosity I’ve been trying to cultivate, I decided to share. It made a dent in my supply but it was good for my soul. As frivolous as this may seem, it felt like a true letting go for me – something I had been hoarding for myself, I shared.

Our car is in hospice. (We recently took a 900 mile trip in our 200,000+ mile car and it blew one of its four cylinders.) We know it’s terminal but we’re trying to keep it comfortable and not use extraordinary means to keep it alive (like an engine transfusion). We’re only using it for short, essential trips. Meanwhile we are trying to decide what car to get next before we give this one away to one of those non-profit car recycling organizations.

Here’s the dilemma. In the spirit of good environmental stewardship, I had been figuring that our next car would probably at least be a hybrid – maybe even an electric car. BUT, I figured we’d probably have a couple more years before having to make that decision, thus allowing time for technology to develop increased battery life and used hybrids to become less expensive.

Unfortunately, now we need to make a decision within the next couple months. Who knows how long we’ll be able to continue limping around Cincinnati.

Our other option is to buy another used, reliable car that gets good mileage like our formerly trusty ’98 Toyota Corolla.

A used hybrid will cost about $17,000 and an equivalent age and mileage Toyota would cost about $10,000. Sure, we might eventually make up some of the price difference in gas savings, but that’s still a big gap. Sooooo…. do we honor our value of ecological responsibility by supporting the less polluting technology of the future, OR do we save money and use the savings for other valued purposes – like home repair or visiting the kids.

We’re torn. Any advice?

PS: Jim figures that we’re already doing our environmental part by working at home and only having one car.

Aarrgh! I just got a new computer and that should be good because my old one was dying, but – the adjustments to upgraded software are a headache.
I’ve also been walking with my parents lately as they try to make decisions about possibly moving to a retirement center – also a good thing that will make their life easier…eventually.
I’m thinking about how hard it is to let go of our familiar surroundings, ways of doing things, and patterns, even when they promise good things. It’s like experiencing mini-deaths as we let go of the old to move into the unfamiliar future.
Of course lots of people do this when they move, lose or change jobs, get married or divorced, have or launch a child… Even it if it is a desired change, it takes a while to get comfortable.

Zen Question: How long does it take for the new to become old?

While I’m in “Kitchen/Dining Room mode,” I noticed that there are quite a few mugs and miscellaneous glasses in our cupboards. Almost none matched. On one hand, unique drinking cups are an advantage since guests can keep the same glass throughout an evening, day, or weekend. (Saves wear and tear on the environment and reduces washing since our dishwasher is still broken). BUT, the mis-matches don’t look so pretty when setting the table.
SOLUTION: I found these wide multi-colored rubber bands that can be put on each glass. Presto – instant individualization! So, I bought a few matching glasses and am giving away 7 mugs, 10 glasses, a lamp, matching bowl, and glass teapot.

I’m partial to the elegance, flexibility, and durability of plain Winter White Corelle dishes. That’s why it didn’t bother me when Jim suggested we give away one set of dishes that had a few chips in it and another partial set in which 5 of the 8 dinner plates had been broken. Besides, we saw a smaller set that we really liked on sale. So…we gave away 85 pieces and gained 32 for a net loss of 53. That’s progress. We still have the Corelle dishes as our base.

I’ve been saving this give-away for last because of weather, I couldn’t get anyone to take it, and I had moral qualms about giving it away anyway. You may recognize that the object in the photo was once a baby crib. I have now re-purposed it as a couch. Here’s the story.

All four of our young adults slept in this crib as babies. Being frugal and responsible parents we carefully stored it for the day when we might have a grandchild. When the happy visit of our first grandchild came we energetically cleaned the crib and proudly put it out for the new parents – only to find that times and standards had changed. Duh! We learned that no longer were drop side cribs allowed to be sold in stores. Certainly we didn’t want to risk any baby’s safety, much less our only grandchild, so we researched what the potential safety hazards were for drop side cribs and whether the brand we owned had ever been recalled. Our crib passed on all accounts. Still, we knew that our adult children would never use it.

Plan B was to offer it to several family shelters and churches we were connected with. I wanted to support needy mothers who chose to have their babies. I fully disclosed that drop-side cribs were no longer able to be sold and why. I explained that we put it together ourselves and as long as it wasn’t disassembled and put together by someone else, we felt confident that this crib was safe. All four charities declined the crib. They were probably right to do so, both for moral and liability reasons, but I was still stuck. I hated to just put it out for the trash.

Ah, now that’s an idea. Put it out for the trash on a pleasant evening and maybe someone will come by and pick it up. This, however, didn’t solve the moral issue of my responsibility if they used it for a baby and the baby got hurt. (I thought about putting a warning tag on the crib for any midnight marauders.)

Plan C was then hatched. A friend told me about a friend who transformed baby cribs into love seats. Hmmm. I didn’t want to drive 100 miles to take the crib to this person, but I decided I could re-purpose the crib myself. I took off the drop-side, put a couple large upholstered pillows on the back, and covered the mattress. It’s not fancy, but it’s now clearly a couch, not a crib. I also found out that Viet Vets will pick it up. If that fails, I can always wait for a warm, dry night before garbage day.

PS: Although this is Ash Wednesday and thus I’ve officially been giving things away for a whole year, it’s hard to stop. I keep seeing more possibilities – like that old bike with the flat tire in the garage. I’m going to take a break next week and then will periodically post when I have something worth saying, maybe monthly instead of semi-weekly. Let me know what you think and want.

Since I’m almost done with the year I decided to search through a few “hidden places” that I missed during my earlier sweeps. This mostly meant going into dirty places (like the furnace room), looking behind things (like dressers) and under things (like beds). I uncovered a lot of miscellaneous items, some not worth counting. Among the better finds were:

  • Kenyan print (It’s going to our son’s African-American school.)
  • Japanese wall hanging
  • 2 land line phones
  • 3 purses and some jewelry
  • 3 sweaters
  • man’s shirt
  • woman’s vest and top
  • Clamp on light
  • 5 placemats
  • Kitchen cutting board and drain pad
  • 2 car mats

Technically, this week completes 365 days of giveaways but I’m going to post this Wednesday since it’s Ash Wednesday and that neatly ties it up from one Lent to the next. I’m also aware that I still have things that warrant giving away – or to put it more positively, I know there are still many things that others can use now that my pack-rat side is hanging on to “just-in-case.”

A beautiful site!

PS: The photo at left may not look that pretty until you realize it’s a surface in the recesses of our unfinished basement furnace room that was stacked with extra household items. Beauty is sometimes in the lack of clutter.

 

 

 

I’ve been thinking about death lately. Maybe it’s because friends are helping their parents make decisions about moving out of the homestead and into assisted living. Others are settling estates. The result is that people my age are sorting through stuff of elderly relatives. (I hope our own kids appreciate that I’m saving them a lot of work by doing some of that pruning now.)

Certainly people who move frequently or have garage sales have a leg up on limiting undue accumulation of stuff. BUT, we’ve lived in our current home for about 30 years and it occurs to me that letting go of some of my stuff is starting to feel like part of the grand process of letting go of my earthly possessions in preparation for letting go of life. I hope this doesn’t sound overly morbid, because it is not really with sadness or fear that I hold these thoughts, but rather a feeling of freedom. Eventually, I will be letting go of all earthly possessions and people. It feels oddly comforting to be gradually moving in this direction, object by object.

In a week we will observe Ash Wednesday. “Remember, Susan, that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.” I have no proof that there is an afterlife, but it is something I have chosen to believe. Either way, the things of this world will be of no use to me after death. The only thing that counts is how I have loved and cared for others.